By JD
Date: 2004 Jun 28
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[[2004.06.28.00.32.24112]]

I Make Myself

Sometimes I wonder what happened to us.

Do you remember when we were 16
and in love
and completely oblivious to the
reality that is our world?
That was so long ago.

I remember kissing in the rain
and secretly holding hands
under the table
at a kareoke club my mother dragged us to.
I remember the love letters-
I still have them all.
I remember sitting in the shadow of a mango tree,
as we promised each other that we will never fade.
Our love will never fade.
I remember making plans for the future.
We were going to buy a pineapple farm one day.
I was happy because we had plans for the future.

But we were 16
and in love
and completely oblivious to the
reality that is our world.

And now that we are older
and oceans away,
I begin to miss you.

And in these moments,
I blast the radio on real loud
and make myself forget about the rain,
secretly holding hands,
the love letters,
the mango tree,
the pineapple farm,
our future.

Because I have a different future now.
One that doesn't include you.