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By Savannah Haze Date: 2004 Aug 01 Comment on this Work [[2004.08.01.03.30.3324]] |
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Maybe I should move out. Maybe I shouldn't live here so that at the end of the night you have to drop me off and then drive away. Maybe if I weren't beside you every night you would miss me before I even opened the door and you would take me in your arms and kiss me and kiss me and kiss me until my lips are raw and aching. Maybe you would want me again the way I thought you wanted me before we ever said I do and began our life of watching television in our robes and worrying over whether or not there's money to pay the bills. Maybe I should lose weight. Maybe I should do everything in my power to make myself beautiful and sexy and desirable. Maybe if I trimmed down, toned up and changed my hair color you would look at me the way I see you look at women in restaurants or in your magazines or my best friend. Maybe when I walked by in nothing but a towel you'd draw in a quick breath and feel yourself grow hard in your blue jeans and you'd take me and throw me down and take me as if you own me. Maybe I should stop dreaming. Maybe I should accept that this is what it's supposed to be like and nothing I do will really change you or me or anything. Maybe I should just remember that I love you and the thought of living without you scares me to the point that I crawl in our bed and smell the pillow where earlier you laid your head. Maybe someday all of this will be better and you'll wake up and realize that a woman needs to feel like a treasure and you will love me and want me and kiss me and tell me that I am the most beautiful woman in the world to you because that's all I really want. I wish you knew that right now I feel lonely when we're in the same room and maybe is all I have to keep me company. |