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By darwin Date: 2004 Sep 02 Comment on this Work [[2004.09.02.13.55.30713]] |
| i want to go back to ordinary. from this wall flower life i now lead. i wish for the open skies and roads. and i wish for my husband to be home when my eyes finally shut at night. what happened to the lazy days of summer, when i could sit in a field chewing on a blade of grass? when the only thing i had to do at night is watch as the comets and shooting stars rained down. when laughter came easy. and now my body is tired. it wants to drink of life, but somedays it would rather go to sleep. make up for all the nights where it is lost. i miss my roadtrips. when i could go without a shower for days, and sleep in my car to watch the brilliant sunrise in the mountains. i remember the smell of sage as it burns, and sandlewood oil that i used to wear on my neck. my first kiss, when i was 14 and he ended up liking my best friend instead. he smelled of eternity and cheap aftershave. what happened to that innocence i felt. and now i just feel this deep sense of exhaustion in my body. i want to feel my husband touch me, and not his warm limbs as they move beneath the sheets at night. i want to feel my breasts touched, feel that sudden anticipation that comes right before a first kiss. wondering how his lips will taste. if touching them will turn my legs to jelly. i remember when a good kiss could turn me on more then anything else. but now i'm an adult as they say, and those words i hate so much "welcome to the real world." and i think to myself, where the hell else have i been for the last 26 years? |