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By JD Date: 2004 Oct 13 Comment on this Work [[2004.10.13.01.12.6921]] |
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I could hear a siren wailing in the background, harmonizing with the sweet cries of my latest emo CD. Oh God. I'm going to get a bloody ticket on the worst day of my life. I read your wedding announcement on the paper today, after which I felt like stunning myself with a Tazer gun to numb the pain. What kind of man even announces his engagement nowadays? I know. Men like you. Perhaps it's your way of shoving my own hasty engagement in my face. I could almost hear your triumphant laugh. Almost. The siren ringing in my ears is a clear warning that I should pull over this instant before I become Canada's first ever car chase. It drones out the taunting in my head. License. Registration. Insurance. All here. He asks me why I was going 40 in a 60 zone. Oh great. I'm not even going to get a speeding ticket. I'm going to be fined for driving too bloody slow! I don't know. Why was I going so slow? Maybe it's because the rest of my life is moving at this terrifying speed. I'm going to be a wife. Oh God. Eventually, I'm going to be a mother. I'm too selfish to be a mother. I'll probably hog all the chocolate. I can't even swim. How will I ever take my children to the beach? And you.. You're going to be a husband. You're going to be a father, only you won't be selfish like me. You'll share your chocolate with your kids and drive out to your future cottage by the lake every bloody weekend. I open my mouth to speak and instead of an explanation, a strangled sob emerges. Maybe I had just happened to stumble upon the nicest cop in Toronto. Maybe I had just happened to stumble upon a man who hated emotional women like me. I don't care. It worked for with one final glance at the shocked look on my face, he left without giving me a ticket. |