By courtney
Date: 2004 Dec 10
Comment on this Work
[[2004.12.10.21.25.12329]]

Amount Owed

I knew
from the hesitation in his kiss
that bliss
had better take a back
seat
defeat
was victorious once again-
knocked me out
in the 1st round
I have found
there is no faking
or mistaking
the knowledge that
hopscotches on your
spine-
a lover's decline
is a 1, 2 sucker punch
to the gut
I am stuck in the same old
rut
that pulls me down
like quick sand
and demands
more then whats
stored
in my vault of methods
of ways
to "get over it"
when the collision wreaks me
for days
I am amazed
I haven't crumbled under the
pressure
from the measures
I took
to overlook
the times it was all
signed out
lent out
read out
loud
the sounds
they made
when I let them invade
the darkest parts
the private parts
the vulnerable parts...
my heart's
been damaged
but still I've managed
to band-aid the skin
forget the places
I've been
when did i begin
to lower the needs
to ignore my soul's
need
I feed
on all that's shiny
and new
but in the end
never collect
on what I am
due.