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By darwin Date: 2004 Dec 17 Comment on this Work [[2004.12.17.15.01.5582]] |
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We haven't had snow for Christmas here, in a number of years. Being in the midwest, one generally assumes that we are blanketed in white stuff by mid October. This would not be the case, one does not even need a heavy coat yet. There is the elevated hope for a white Christmas by the teasing meteorologist with bated line of "chance of snow". I don't know what percentages they are working off of, but they might not want to try gambling. While there are the steadfast hopes and wishes for a white Christmas, as the season grows closer, and soon to a close. I wonder about why I love this time of year. What is it with the yuletide carols and the glowing Christmas lights at night, that fills me with that eggnoggy sense of joy? This year more then any other I am being forced to review why I love Christmas, and what its true meaning is for me. This year has been a rough one, tougher on my husband and I then any other time I can remember. Just two days ago my husbands company gave him an early Christmas present of unemployment. There were the tears, and the budgets being planned, wondering if we could live off of macaroni and cheese until he found another job. Of course we know that we are far better off then others who have been put into this position, but we will feel the crunch nonetheless. This year alone we are enduring a family divorce, a death and also illness. This seems to be the inevitable cherry on the Sunday of life. Yet, I do not feel down or depressed about it. Though because of these things they have made me rather pensive. I am considering going back to church, something I swore I would never do. For some reason though we have had our troubles this year, we always eventually land on our feet. Whether it's through our meticulous planning, or veritable luck, we seem to have weathered the storm. When we see the Salvation Army bell ringers, we still give money, knowing there are many who are far less fortunate. When I was a child, we depended on our church's congregation to donate bags of food to us. I hated Tuna, and often refused to eat it. Perhaps if I had known then, that my mother was earning less then I am now, and supporting two children on it, i wouldn't have complained. I realize now how much my mother did for me, and that she must have had days where she just didn't want to wake up. My uncle found a diary of hers years ago, in it she wrote about skipping meals so that my brother and I could eat. Truly it is sacrifices like hers that cause me to still feel joy this Christmas. It's not about the holly and the mistletoe. The lights that are precisely laid on the evergreens boughs and trees. Nor is it about parents as the stream into toy stores in droves to buy their child that perfect gift. This year I do not want a present under my tree, or the pageantry of opening gifts on Christmas Eve. I want to remember why we are here. I want to remember the sacrifices that people make for each other so that they are happy. For the sake of love. I want to be around my family and know that there are far worse things in this world then losing your job. There is the possibility of losing oneself to the selfishness that usually surrounds this holiday. But there is always joy, and if we choose to, there is always love. Merry Christmas |