|
By Megs Submitted by Thoughtfull Date: 2004 Dec 20 Comment on this Work [[2004.12.20.21.14.2626]] |
|
I am going to write until I figure this out. You. Is there anything I haven't said already though? And in a much more clever manner...remember the notebook I filled for you? I carefully recopied poems and pieces and colored little pictures and felt every bit like a five year old who wanted you to display this huge chunk of my heart on your fridge. That was two presidential elections ago. Four cellphones ago. Five apartments ago. One marriage and a few boyfriends ago... And I would do it again too. I haven't learned yet not to pour out everything right away. I thought I was too afraid to give to you again but in reality I am too afraid to hold back. You'll be here in less than forty eight hours and its so easy to entertain my addiction fully with your body heart eyes hands all around me I can fill myself up and pretend its enough to last thirty days till the next round. But with miles and hours and states between us the days are much much greater than a simple twenty four hour obstacle. I will call you crying an average of four times- about once a week or due to the depressive effects of alcohol. We might dabble in phone sex with you full of hot words and for a split second I manage to feel you and then...eventually...we have to get off the phone and my apartment feels as cold as anything ever was. We will plan for the future. The abstract and the real. I will pour out my feelings in more poems and pieces... all about you. |