By courtney
Date: 2005 Jan 23
Comment on this Work
[[2005.01.23.22.56.19759]]

'The Woman'

  Once there was a man and a woman. They met and fell instantly in love. Their courtship lasted about two years, and they decided to get married. All was well until the man became a substance abuser. At this point, there was a small child. He became violent and moody, which caused them to fight constantly. The arguments were horrendous. The child would sit under the kitchen table with her fingers in her ears so she wouldn't have to listen to Daddy yelling at Mommy. Sometimes she would shut her eyes really, really tight so she didn't have to watch Daddy throw things at Mommy.
  The man would go out after work and drink while the woman was home with the child with no food, no money, and no car. Sometimes, the man wouldn't even come home. And all the while the woman loved the man, and constantly offered her support trying to help him. He always refused. The woman blamed herself for a long time, but after awhile realized it wasn't her fault. It was HIS problem. Many family functions were ruined. The man would show up drunk, and embarrass the woman and the child. One time, he even hit the woman...
  After awhile, the woman built a wall around herself. There was no pain, there was no happiness, there was nothing. That's what alcohol did to HER. What she did realize after years of verbal/emotional abuse was that the things she heard about herself weren't true-she wasn't stupid, she wasn't ugly. She was good, but through it all, she still loved the man. But sometimes you have to let go, and that's what she did. The man needed help, so she gave him an ultimatum-either get the help, or never see the child again.
  The man checked into rehab the next day and stayed there for 35 days. It was the woman who had to drive 2 hours every weekend so the child could see her Daddy (the child was only seven years old). It was the woman who had to console the crying child on the way home, trying to explain why Daddy wasn't coming with them. But, he kicked his habits, and got clean and sober.
  When he came home, the relationship was strained. They decided to seperate. She cried when he moved out, and so did he. But they both knew in their hearts that someday they would be back together, they just needed some time.
  They never lost touch during the seperation-he saw the child as much as he could. They dated other people, but still dated each other. He used to tell her she was the only one who ever made sense. They decided to get back together, and since they were never married in the church, they planned a church wedding. The child was eight years old, and the wedding never came to be. One rainy summer morning in 1989, the man was seriously injured at his job. He was not expected to live...
  She felt she was losing everything, but she still had the little girl. Now she had to explain why Daddy was never going to be the same. She and the little girl took care of the man for many,many years because the accident left him extremely brain damaged. The woman made sure he had the best care, and she never left his side-she knew he would have done the same for her. She loved him, in spite of it all.
  After five years, she knew he had suffered enough. She knew it was time to take him off life-support. The woman felt it was the only way she could help him, but she also felt it was the hardest thing she would ever have to do.
  So, on May 31, 1994, they removed the man's feeding tube, and for two weeks the woman and the child watched the man slip away day by day. The woman and child took turns sitting by his bed and holding his hand-the woman would read to him, often about angels. She never knew if he could hear her, but she did it anyway. It got her through, somehow.
  The night before he died, the woman gathered his broken body in her arms and told him it was ok to let go. She felt for many years he was holding on, but for what reason she never knew. Now, it was time to let go-for all three of them. The day he died, a part of the woman died with him, and that part will never be her's again.
  Through the years that followed, the child grew older and more rebellious. The woman was losing control. She was losing her identity. She hoped someday the child would realize in the end, the woman would always be there. Someday, the child will know, and until then, the woman will wait.