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By redplasticroses Date: 2005 Mar 06 Comment on this Work [[2005.03.06.09.14.5960]] |
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Your book arrived in the midst of an ice storm, when we were without power. Thank you, it is a book I've wanted to read. I actually started it a few months ago and left it on the counter at Starbucks, when I went back to retrieve it, it was gone. Now I have the copy from you with your handwriting in it, which I will treasure always. Your inscription bares an underlying sadness but I suppose that has always been a part of our relationship from the start. I would like to tell you I was able to ignore that but I wasn't, nor were you. You have left a gently worn spot on my soul.....one I will always remember with bittersweet memories, a smile and one tear. It is not that I ever expected you to leave, we both know that...... I didn't ask and you didn't promise...... but there was always that looming, what if? I suppose I knew from the start that you would not, and I can't fault your strong sense of duty to God, your family or your country... all of that appealed to me. I didn't want to tell you I was dating and yet I had to let you know my heart could not live in limbo, nor would you want it to......in many respects, the book is now your unspoken message to me that you would forever remain there, in your marriage. Like you, I too felt the lump in my throat....... especially when I saw "mi corazón" written on my gift. I realized then that you loved me enough to release your hold on me so I would be free to find someone to share my life with yet I knew when I saw that, it hurt you to do so. I can not begin to tell you how over-whelmed I was when I saw that...... or how many tears erupted. "That" gesture on your part means so much to me, especially since I knew how painful it was for you to pen those words. Write a chapterfor me in your book; perhaps we went to Spain to see the bulls run, or just shared a chance meeting and a beer. There will always be a part of me that looks for you in a crowded airport terminal, or in a room full of men in suits or guys playing basketball on a neighborhood court. At times I will carry you with me in my heart's conversation as I walk through the park on a summer morning or sit at dusk and watch the sun go down. As you board the train in the morning, look for me admiring you through the window. I will never forget how we met nor you running down the airport terminal before my connecting flight arrived to tell me you had to see me again, nor you kissing me as you hugged me good-bye, just hours before we were total strangers. Twenty years from now, I will still blame Delta for this chance meeting that brought two hearts together 2,000 miles high in the sky over North Carolina on a beautiful spring evening. Twenty years from now.....I will still wonder how two hearts can be so connected without ever being physically intimate......twenty years from now I will still hold a special love for you in my heart, for we really were that connected. |