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By corinna Date: 2005 Mar 17 Comment on this Work [[2005.03.17.14.33.18390]] |
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What have I gotten myself into this time? I thought it would be so easy to do this again. I promised myself it would be different. Somehow I didn't realize it was this hard to be your friend. In the beginning I made a pact with myself To take it day by day and not let you under my skin. But it seems that I have broken that pact Because I'm in so deep that it's clouded my vision. In over my head now and I don't know what to do. I am so afraid of pushing you away That I've been holding everything inside And now I feel like I'm going to explode any day. You would think by now that I'd know you And it would be clear where we stand But one minute I feel like I'm bothering you And the next day you are holding my hand. I'm so confused by this game that we're playing Yet I know for sure what is really going on I've been reading into everything you do and say Fooling myself that you're afraid to admit what you want. I've been trying to convince myself that you are afraid Scared to tell me you have feelings and want to be with me. But all this time the truth has been right in front of my face. You don't want to be anything other than friends with me. You call this thing we have a friendship, But I really think maybe you just can't believe, As much as everything I am is all that you don't want You've found yourself in a relationship with me. I sometimes wonder if you'll come around And accept me as more than a friend Just as I think you are coming, you let me down But maybe it'll come around again. I don't know if I should totally cut you off Only to protect myself and my sanity But I can't bring myself to say the words Because I know it's not what I want to see. Maybe someday I won't be so afraid to tell you How I really feel for you inside But I don't think today is that day So I'll just keep holding it inside. Feb. 24, 2005 |