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By darby Date: 2005 Apr 10 Comment on this Work [[2005.04.10.20.05.19058]] |
| The choice is mine. The current you has next to nothing to do with it. In fact, I think it's the most important decision you'll never know I've made. I've come to a point where memories are no longer good enough. I'm way too young to live in the past. And that's what it's come down to: I can have the memory of you or the promise of a future without you. I can't seem to balance the two so it's now an either or situation. It's a decision I've put off way too long(you know me, a procrastinator through and through). I love you and miss you, but the decision has been made. It's one you seemed to make with ease a long time ago, but for some reason I couldn't. There's not much of a choice when you/I think about it. I love you, but not enough to live on the moments (and that's all they are in the long run) that we've had. As little as I want to, I choose a future that does not include you. So in the same way that a recovering alcoholic has to choose each and everyday not to drink, everyday I will choose to leave you in the past. And I am determined to recover from you. I won't pretend it will be easy, but it's a choice I've made and a choice I will make always. |