By iammyself
Date: 2005 Oct 02
Comment on this Work
[[2005.10.02.21.57.19928]]

on praying

tonight i prayed, babe.

yeah, this from the guy who doesn't need religion, who sees god in everything, who said he'd never hurt you.

i wept and prayed and wept some more.

i watched what dreams may come, just to torment myself and see if there was anything i could hang on to, anything that could give me a ray of hope that i'd see you in another life.  i'd like more than anything to be your life partner in the next life.  i told you that, but i don't think you want to believe anything i have to say to you anymore.  i understand, and i'm sorry.

i prayed for help, for direction, for solace, for strength.

you were right, we are soul-mates.  i never believed in such a thing...until i met you.  even then, i questioned it.  you saw it long before i did, yet i wouldn't see it until now, and now...it's too late.  i can't change my direction again; i've hurt too many people and have lost myself in the process.

i didn't pray for me, hon...i prayed for you.

i want so badly for you to find your own happiness, within yourself.  it may not be something that i can now find in this lifetime, but i want it so much for you.  you were right to heap scorn on me, honey.  but please, let it go and know that i love you in a deeper way than i've ever loved before.

vaya con dios, Mandi.

ted