By Star of David
Date: 2005 Nov 02
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I haven't seen you smile in forever

I feel like hell.
The storm clouds are slowly gathering. It's going to rain down soon and that's what I want right now.  I want it to rain so hard that it drowns me in sorrow for always.
I haven't seen you smile in forever and I am starting to forget your lips, your taste, the exact scent of the nape of your neck and the way your hair is just so.
I want to drive you mad again and fall in love again and hold you close again. I need to hear our music and be held in your arms so I don't forget what it feels like to be loved by you.
I need you to come back so I remember again and then leave if you must. But I don't want to forget and keeping our memory alive is hard to do alone when I haven't held you in so long.
I want to ruin you and shock you with my loving. I want to take you to the thin line between love and hate which everyone says exists and stay there for a while, just you and me.
I feel like violence. And that's just another word for how desperately I love you.

(October 28, 2005)