By Farah
Submitted by twisted_lie
Date: 2006 Feb 26
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Burnt Into ashes

Time Added: Feb. 09, 2006 at 04:49 AM

Don't know where to start..I guess it's just emotions piled up and with time they grew bigger..You taught me things I never knew were even possible...
Didn't you ever notice how I stopped talking to you like I used to??Didn't you ever wonder why??I'm sick of telling you what's on my mind,opening up to you like I haven't to anyone, and you still don't understand where I'm coming from..Instead you'd say I'm being childish and silly.
It hurts that my soul mate isn't sharing me this incredible weight I carry around on my shoulders,it hurts that you don't even try to see my prospective.
It's sad that I wait all day eagerly just to hear your voice just to find you shattered from work and too tired that you sleep.
Call me selfish,but I deserve more than this..If you so much cared just a little bit you'd ask how my day was..but you don't even give me the chance to lean on you and cry.
I needed you..All I ever wanted was "A Minute" of your time,I suppose I'm too demanding. damn
I hope you never need me and find out that I'm not there for you.
I hope you never feel your heart break like I felt mine break into a thousand tiny pieces on the floor.
I thought I was special to you..As usual you prove me dead wrong, because to you I'm less than normal, to you I'm nothing as it seems.
Once again you do the thing you do best, once again you lay your head down on that pillow, once again you ignore me, once again you sleep and once again you leave me broken. .but did you ever see my tears? Of course not..You know why??because you're probably already there in dream land, with your eyes shut, your heart dead..You leave me with nothing but the sound of your cold breath.
I'm getting used to this..I stopped expecting you to do something out of your nature,out of your true character. .That was wrong of me..I was trying to change you into something you're not..And I'm sorry,it is truly my fault..Forgive me for being a dreamer..for wanting someone to embrace me,to understand me just by looking into my eyes..I guess I'm as guilty as they come,I've lost myself in these fluffy feelings,in the picture of how loving someone IS to me.
I just don't want to face reality..Not now..I'd rather live a lie and pretend that everything's alright, because it scares me to death the thought that you may not be the home I've always longed for, the home that would embrace me..Instead you'd be the reason why I don't feel safe, the reason of my insecurity, the reason of my sadness. You're supposed to be the rock on which I stand..Please don't prove me wrong again for I truly believe that I am in the right place..I am on my way home.