|
By silly gurl Date: 2006 Mar 10 Comment on this Work [[2006.03.10.23.23.6508]] |
|
My timing hasn't been exactly perfect. Everything but. I don't know what you ever saw in me- which I'm sure you've already asked yourself a thousand times. Maybe you've asked yourself what i saw in you. I read a letter, the last letter, you wrote me. I found it today while going thru old papers. I don't know why i was so dumb. You may have thought you had nothing to offer and I didn't understand why you put up with so much crap from me. Now i can honestly understand why you did put up with me, maybe. I Love you like I've never loved anyone. You had so much to offer. I knew you straight out of high school -working a low paying job. But what i loved about you was so simple. You were so safe to me. All I needed was to sit next to you, or have you wrap you're arms around me, and i was safe and protected from eveything. You made me feel wonderful. And yes, sometimes, you even drove me wild. I never thought you wouldn't be in my life somehow. When i got married, I didn't want to let go. Now that I've been so removed for the last few years, there's a gap in MY universe that i thought I could fill. No matter what I've done, it only becomes more aparent that you're what I've been missing. Each day you were the first and last thing on my mind and I would quietly cry myself to sleep each night. I don't know why I couldn't admit that you were always what i needed. I wouldn't even admit it to myself. I was so affraid of you leaving me, that I practically tried to scare you away. - You were always my "buddy". I've faced the facts, way too late, that i love you more than i can control. There's still so many things that remind me of times we had or places we went together. Every little simple every-day reminders. Even songs on the radio. I know it's totally insane to believe that maybe you still love me, but love isn't logical. Love doesn't have boundries. Love isn't something we can pick, control, or hide away forever. So, I will love you, forever. At least I can hope to find someone that makes my heart happy and peaceful. With any luck, some- one may come close to making me feel safe and protected and loved unconditionally. I'm sorry for what i did, and for being a twit (for what it's worth). At least i can acknowledge now that you're MY center, and without you, I'm just a stupid girl that can't move on. Every memory makes you feel so close and real. I want to sit down with you and just forget my life for a few minutes. You are the Best memorey i have, from the time i was the happiest. If I could relive it again, I would want to stay forever. ~C. |