WHO'S MINDING THE STORE

guess who came in and took a bite of me
didn't pay...thinks I give it away for free
well, I gave him free samples long ago
so he thinks this work-sweat is still a glow

I'll admit there was a time I locked the door
got out the carnuba and waxed the floor
with him from store aisles one to three
and when we were finished he thanked me

yep, for the polished hardware encounter
took a knife, carved a notch in my counter
then got some paint, walked out the door
what the hell is this cash register for?!?!

Monday, he took a hammer, box of nails
Tuesday, gave me a look that never fails
Wednesday, "on credit, I'll get ya later!"
and he pinches the help, tries to date her

Thursday, I tried hard to settle the score
but again, he beat me to the front door
okay, so ole Friday's coming up next
he called, asked I send his stuff FedEx

I packed a box, sent it, he should get it
Saturday, at his door, but he'll regret it
sealed, and packed neat as you please
gratis for his business, a box full of fleas

Sunday, I'm closed and he's out of spray
I think it's time I consider taking a holiday
so I put on some music, bake a few pies
and look in the yard, can't believe my eyes

wouldn't ya know it, he came by the house
and asked for a dip! that skin-flint louse!!
he's gotten my house and barn full of fleas
but it's worth it, seeing him on his knees

dragged to the pond with a bar of lye soap
lathered up, he's smiling, I can't say nope
that's why he now a partner in the store
grabbing folks 'fore they get out the door!

(c) 2006 Maggie Mink aka Rennie Lorca