By no white flag
Date: 2006 Oct 22
Comment on this Work
[[2006.10.22.21.32.9139]]

Apathy

apathy
crept over me slowly
blurring my soul
slowing my spirit
corrupting my mind
with nonthoughts
like looking at the world
through your grandmas
super strong glasses
the coulors are faded
smells diluted,
sounds,even my favorite song
not music,too my ears
all food tastes like oatmeal
with no sugar and no cream
whatever happened
too me,,
the girl,with a dream
why cant i,,dont i,, care
was so much of my life
just an illusion
then why did i care
waste my love,,my caring
on people,,who werent there
its not the loss of the people
thats probably a blessing
and no disguise
its my loss of trust
and believing
even tho im still naieve
how do i know this?
i still find it hard too believe
i could be fooled so easily
kind and sweet and gentle
and it was all an act
so,, i have lost my belief
mainly,,in myself
i feel so apathetic
i feel so all alone
my mind says its best this way
been thru so much already
done it on my own
i have inner strength
and in doing,,i have grown
so,,is it goodbye too love?
alone too make my way
no lover and best friend
too share all lifes joys and fears?
or,,will this haze lift
heal my mind and soul
do i need another person
too complete my life and heart?
or,is there a trust store somewhere
that sells,toughen up pills?
can i lose the naievety?
so i will know
when,,"i love you" is said
its meant from the heart
and not from the head
please,,no more players
make it real so i can see
the worlds beatiful colours
not wonder every day
when his true colours
if bad
will dim my world too darkness
so,, i reserve a part of me,
dont give all my heart
a litle at a time,
time too heal and grow together
maybe he will have wounds
that didnt quite heal too
ill mend his heart if he mends mine.
the apathy is lifting
my spirit wont give in
hope,,lives within me
i see a patch of blue
no white flag
an optimest again.
______________________
baby,,whoever you are.
please,, dont let me down
------------------------------------
Once in awhile,
Right in the middle of an ordinary life,
Love gives us a fairy tale.
-----------------------------------------------
It is said that you don't know what you have until it's gone.
But, it is also true that you don't know what you have been missing until it arrives!
-------------------------------------------------------------
He holds me when I start to cry,
makes me smile with just his eyes,
shares my hopes, dreams, fears,
  whipes away all my tears,
I love him without regret,
I just havent found him yet.