By dragonflydancer
Date: 2006 Dec 04
Comment on this Work
[[2006.12.04.14.26.32028]]

for mom...

hardest time of year
enjoying the holiday or trying to
while knowing just a year ago
you suffered the most
and we suffered the most
knowing you weren't any longer

will it snow there today?
a sign from you that you're ok
like it did those days
when the pain in my chest
was only soothed
by large fluffy ones
on my tongue..
like frozen tears from you up above
saying you were sorry you had to go

grown up christmas list playing
the tree i'm decorating
trying to honor you  
relishing moments
new bittersweet tradition
of christmas decorations
to celebrate
the season and
your spirit

this day hits hard
when so many others have
passed by unnoticed
a long string of pinpricks
little hiccups of emotion
easily brushed aside
and forgotten

but today cannot be
forgotten
memories vivid in their detail
rush to the surface
and stupid me laughs
then cries
when i realize  
"that ornament is from my student"
came from my lips and not yours

i drank to you tonight
please don't be disappointed
i cheered to you
on this day that i had
anticipated as well as
dreaded
and it has passed like so many others

with tears burning
in my eyes
and running
down my face
breath catching
in my throat
i can't fathom how
needing you
and missing you
can be so overwhelming
so disabling

so like your favorite song
i ask you to
hold me together
be forever near me
be a breath of heaven
and lighten my darkness
when tonight passes
let me find peace
in all the reminders of you
that surround me

i miss you...