By Farah and Nanti
Submitted by twisted_lie
Date: 2007 Feb 17
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shitty events

Have you ever?

Have u ever thought of your memories and wished they were different?
If you had the chance to go back in time,
What would you change about your life?
Would you trade the tears you cried for a bucket of fake happiness?
Would you change the moments that made you grow?
Would you change the way you learnt your lessons in life?
Now you stand at a cross road,
the choices you made stand before you.
You will never hear his laughter again;
you will never have the grace of his company,
The tenderness of his heart, the purity of his soul,
And the innocence of his eyes.
I know deep inside I'm chocking on hot air,
I know it’s the most difficult choice I've
Ever had to do, I know it's best for you.
I will always care for you; you will always own a part of my heart.
I know you learnt a lesson in all of this too;
I want you to grab life by both hands.
You will find happiness, of that I promise you.
But it will never be with me.
The situation just got too complex to allow us to be together.
Thank you for the laughter,
for the unconditional love, for being there for me all the time.
I wish I could stay with you in dream land for ever,
But we both know someone's going to wake us up.
I never know a deeper love, a greater sacrifice, and such enormous fidelity.
Thank you for loving me as much as you have...
Thank you but I don't and will never deserve such a pure heart.

“Today is the 17th of February, my ultimate fear has turned into a reality, and you finally let me go. I’m supposed to feel better but there’s an incredible ache in my heart, I will always miss you Nanti.”

This is what you had to say for me:

“It was you

I knew it was u since I lied my eyes on u…u had the thing in ur smile ..ur eyes…I had that feeling that u were like me..that we were alike…I spent everyday after we got known each other planning how I will open my geart for u…I stand in front of the mirror every morning rehearsing how will I say it “you know something….i liked u since I lead my eyes on u….i want our relationship to extend beyond friendship because the friendship box cant contain my feelings for u… I like u…”. I don’t know y I didn’t let my heart lead my mouth to speak for my feelings..although they are nice and lovely feelings,its weird how people express their feelings well and easily when it comes to bad angry feelings..and they find it sooooooo damn hard when it comes to express nice and lovely feelings,maybe because it makes us fragile like glass…maybe…I guess we will never know why we didn’t express our lovely and nice feelings that other day  or days…but when u think hard u will find that it was stupidity from ur side..u will say “it was easy what could have happened if I did express my love feelings…but wait I know why…I was afraid to lose her precious friendship…that kind of friendship that I want to last if I didn’t get her to be mine..and only mine..but I thought that that process would jeopardize that friendship….ohhhhhhh Im sooo damn fool…big fool…. ” .now after we have known each other very well…..i found that u and I are a perfect match….sooo damn perfect,a atch the u can hardly find between couples.we reached a point were u just know from my writing if im sad or happy….u just tell me to cheer up and I do…we reached a point that chatting with u is something I cant substitute with anything in the world…a point were talking to u is like talking with…with the one I meant  be with but im not.i always have the need to give u and to make sure that u r happy….i would make afoul of my self in front of the whole world just to see that lovely smile of yours,that smile that I want to preserve in mind till I die.we are soo damn perfect for each other ….so alike..acopy u may say..but an original copy,but most of the time perfect fit couples don’t end up together I don’t know y but I think its just the way it is.i know that u r happy now with him…and im really glad that u r….all I want u to be now is to be happy even if im not the well of that happiness because as I told u I just want to see that listening now to forever in love by scorpions…its really lovely song there is a part in it when he says”you make me dream by the look in ur eyes”.I played the song again and I found my feelings are expressed in that song ,u know when people say that “this song was written for me or about me” that’s how I think now…I feel like all the love songs were written for me…but not the happy ones songs…just the sad love ones.dont get me wrong ,but im glade that u are happy..really its just that im sad that you are not by my was you and it always be you.

Monday..12-2-2007….5:10 AM”