By Star of David
Date: 2007 Aug 16
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Paying the Price

So much to do, so much to say,
so many people hurt,
so many people in pain.
But you are still here,
pressing your body close to mine,
hair falling over your face,
casting a shadow
over those dark eyes.

How can I ask for forgiveness
when I am not sorry yet?
I have not bled for this love yet.
But you still abide,
drowning me in your lavish, intense love –
you destroy me, overwhelming me
with the emotions you awaken within me.
There are times when I’d let you
take over my cynical soul, gladly,
make me believe in beauty once again.

But there can be no rest, no sleep.
So many battles left to fight,
so many wars yet to be won.
They say love conquers all.
But it defeats me, always
snatching me up in its clutches
and leaving me broken.
I’m so tired;
it’s tiring to fight for this love,
never knowing whether, this time,
love will last.

All the doors are closing on me this time.
The ones I love, those who love me,
they are waiting, waiting for a sign,
something to show that I am sorry,
that I am weeping,
that I regret this betrayal – you.
One small window remains open, beckoning;
I still have time to turn away from you.
There goes my salvation
as I turn towards you once again.

Those eyes, those smoke filled eyes,
they always leave me shaken.
They take me to that point,
to that very end,
where I almost lose control.
But I somehow manage to shake you off,
freeing myself from your all-consuming love –
for a few moments at a time.

It is you, always you.
Your love, which took root inside me so long ago,
now blooms with a vengeance.
Blood and bandages, pick me flowers
of white and red.
I have paid the price in blood –
the blood of family and friends,
all those I leave behind –
as I walk away with you.