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By Ali Date: 2007 Sep 26 Comment on this Work [[2007.09.26.09.33.2472]] |
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Have you ever woken up on the wrong side of someone else's story? Everything seems so clear cut, except for your heart. Which is, really, the only thing that matters. I'm so sure of everything, and then I'm not. Am I strong enough to let you go? Yes. But that doesn't mean I want to. That doesn't mean it won't kill me, in an unseen and rather vicious way. Honestly, I've been trying to convince myself that there's another way. I've been telling myself that you have your reasons. I know that I have my own, so it's only fair. And it appears that I've been fairly okay with everything--the you and me, and...everything else. You know, all the extra shadows that go unnamed, but not unseen or un-felt. Faces I don't know, but realities I do. Even as I try to ignore it, and everything else that I feel is in my way...that is in my way of loving you. But, the truth? You're in my way, too. Because you only half appreciate this, and me, and the risks I've been willing to take. I want you in my life. But you're not really in my life, now. Only every now and then. You started off so strong, and so full of promise. And then you let too much get in your way. I'm not blaming you. But you need to know where I'm coming from. Because I was the one left in the damn trenches. It would be worth it, if I knew that you were offering me something real. So, I'm "taking a step back." Which isn't to say that I'm walking away. But you need to think. You need to make up your mind, so that I can decide some things, myself. It's not goodbye. Because even if you decide you can't give me what I need, if you called me up tomorrow--and need to talk, or needed my help--I'd be there for you. I'd hop a god damned plane. Because I run that deep, for you. Even if you choose to break my heart. Again. But, um, would it help if I asked you not to? |