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By Ali Date: 2007 Oct 02 Comment on this Work [[2007.10.02.08.42.18150]] |
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I'm having flashbacks of your lips on mine, my lips on yours-- a stunned and stunning series of intense moments: discolored sins, a hurricane of happenstance, the last time-- was it the last time? I remember finding you, again, and despite the reckless hell that had suddenly become my life, I smiled. Because of you, I smiled. And it was the truest thing I'd known in a very long time. Funny, how that works, or seems to work, or, at the very least, pretends to work. So many thoughts, too little clarity, too much inner panic-- and I don't know where to go from here, or if I can do anything at all-- is it lost, have I lost, again, or am I simply too burned to recognize my own fast-jumping false conclusions? (I warned you that I was damaged, that I was a challenge.) I've written you a thousand letters, sent you one, and burned all the rest (save for another), and I can't quite recover my breath in this gilded guise of clever...waiting. I was always terrible at that. And I don't know if my words were right. And I don't know if it even matters, or if I matter, anymore. All I know is that my heart races, and my breath catches, and my smile's yours-- and I know, I've done everything I can think to do to make you understand, the rest (the best part, I suppose) is solely up to you. |