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By ~Harem~ Date: 2007 Nov 18 Comment on this Work [[2007.11.18.14.00.12003]] |
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The opportunity to have sex without committment, without feelings, without romance, without love, appears in almost everyone's life - at some point or another. To some this idea is most appealing, but to others it is a neutral thing, and yet to still others, it is repugnant. But I believe that there is not a person alive, that has not come across this option at some time or other in their life. I used to think that people's reactions to this opportunity was based upon their morals, values, or upbringing . But as I have gotten older - I tend to think that it is the person's own personality that dictates his or her reaction to the opportunity for physical union without Feelings. It's sort of like your taste for food. Some like chocolate ice cream while some prefer vanilla or strawberry. I happen to like all three but I think you get what I am trying to say. I personally don't like Lima Beans, not because I was raised that way, or because of any religious upbringing. My parents liked them, but I don't. It's as simple as that. Getting back to the title of this jib-jab. I was thinking of an event that happened when I was 15 years old. And yeah, I know that the fact that I was still a virgin and had no experience in the subject - did have something to do with my reaction, but I feel it was much deeper than that. And I don't want anyone yelling "pedophile" here - because that is not the subject that I am trying to discuss. At the ripe age of 15, I used to baby sit for this couple that had two really cute kids. But then so was their Father. He was a hunk - as we girls used to say back then. One evening, when the kids' Father was driving me home at the end of my gig (watching the kids). He pulled into a parking lot and decided to have a discussion with me. I have to give you a little background on this guy, so you can see the obvious temptations. He was tall, dark and handsome. He had black curly hair and hypnotic, penetrating green eyes. He was a manly-man, with rugged looks and rugged ways. He also was well bred with meticulous manners, and a deep soft voice. He had a passionate way about him, and he dressed with obvious social status. He was a well-to-do lawyer with a beautiful home and a very expensive car. That night - his car was humming, and soft music was oozing out of the speakers, and he smelled oh so good, like a greek god that had bathed in exotic spicy nectar. As he spoke to me, his eyes glistened and his expensive Rolex watch tantalized my senses. His chiseled facial features were decked with a dark mustache and full robust lips that begged to be kissed. I could not believe that I was thinking such thoughts, since I had full respect for his lovely wife, and his two precious children, a boy and a girl. But what was I to think as I sat like a child in a candy store full of robust delicacies - just beckoning to be taken. I wondered why he pulled into the parking lot - instead of taking me straight home, as he usually did. He turned the music volume down, and leaned over to talk to me. He put his strong arm on the back of my seat and moved closer to me. He was careful not to touch me - even though he continued to slowly move toward me. I guess as an experienced lawyer in his 30's, he knew enough not to send me screaming for safety. He told me that he found me to be very attractive and appealing. He asked me how I felt about him. Then he asked me if I had ever thought about having a relationship with an older man ? I was stunned. I was shocked. I never thought that he would ever say such a thing to me. I didn't know how to feel or what to say. I let him do the talking, and I tried to avoid answering - because I couldn't think of what to say. I was dumb founded. He went on to let me know that he would provide me with anything that money could buy - and that I would be well taken care of. He also said that, if necessary, he would be willing to leave his wife for me. I almost fell over in disbelief of what he was saying. I felt more like ten years old - than fifteen. Then there was this long silence. Most people would have toyed with the idea - at least for a little while. But for some strange reason, that I don't even understand now - I would not, or could not even think of the whole scenario. I never toyed with the idea at all. My answer blurted out - like someone else was saying the words - and I was just the ventriloquists dummy. I don't remember the exact words that I said to him, but it was something like - "I think your handsome, and truly tempting, but I only date guys my own age, and I have never had a relationship with anyone before, but when I do - I want it to be with someone that I have deep feelings for - and I could never have that with you. Sorry. But thanks for the offer." Boy was that ever curt and to the point. I don't even know where that answer came from - but it just erupted from my mouth like a geenie out of a deep well. It's like wiping the dust off a coffee table. You just do it - and never think about - "Why" ? He promptly took me home, after I agreed to never discuss our conversation with anyone. And true to my promise - I never did tell anyone. Not even my mother or any of my friends. It was just a secret that I had never thought of until the other day - when I saw a man in the store that looked just like him. Getting back to that night - I went home feeling dizzy and stunned that evening - and felt rather uncomfortable about babysitting for them after that. Fortunately they moved to Rumson a few months later, and that was too far away for me to babysit anymore. The woman did call my Mom a few weeks later to tell her that she and her hubby were breaking up - cause he had been seeing several other woman and they decided to divorce Wow, I think I spared myself a lot of drama at such a young age. I often wonder what would have happened to me, If I had considered this older man's offer ? ` ~Harem~ ` |