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By darwin Date: 2007 Dec 06 Comment on this Work [[2007.12.06.18.21.20715]] |
| i don't know about forever anymore. the stories as told by romantics and books. forever was when i had a ring slipped on my finger, and forever fell tragically from grace as he did into the arms of another woman. it's not that i don't believe in love anymore, or it's greater significance in life. because i don't think that life is worth it without love. but i don't think we're meant to be together forever with anyone anymore. maybe it happened at one time, but i think that was more ideals of a generation and culture than it was actuality. where do our hearts grow, do they grow with another? Can they? at night I wish for forever, that someone would love me that way. That I could love someone that way, and I do love someone very much right now. But forever seems intangible. Some fruit hanging from a branch that I can't quite reach. It's tantalizing, but merely myth. We have so many stages of life, and I feel I've lived lifetimes, and if it's this way now. What about in twenty years? How many more lifetimes then? Life is confusing like that, and I hope that it grows less confusing with time. That love seems to transcend the mediocrity of a job and the day to day. Though I love the day to day with him, simple meals or watching television on pause as he slices me another piece of cheese. I would think after six months that he wouldn't seem too good to be true anymore, but he does. He seems too good for me, too smart and too handsome. In my old hausfrau state of mind, in my clothes are that comfy and threadbare. My sexy body not apparent except through brief glimpses as i undress for the shower. Is that forever? Acceptance that the criteria is always changing, that love is always changing, maybe we are always changing. We can't be the person we are when we're 30 when we are 50. I can't think that life works like that. So how does love do it. How does love engage itself through years, how does it become forever. I wish that it would show me somehow. Wish that it would walk off the paper and the film and tell me. |