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By Ali Date: 2007 Dec 09 Comment on this Work [[2007.12.09.09.41.16822]] |
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I miss the way you used to say my name. In that half smiling growl, partly catching in the back of your throat. Between last night, and now, it's all I can think of. That, and everything I did wrong. Or less than perfectly. The motivation doesn't matter, I guess; it's just a poor excuse. I know that you were far from perfect, either. Maybe you just blame me, because it's easier. I miss you. I don't want to, but I do. And I can't even begin to explain it, because it's not logical. It's illogical and crazy. And yet...I miss you more than I let myself realize--until now. And now is when it knocks my brave face clear off into the shadows. Its replacement is wild-eyed, aloof, sipping coffee slowly, as if each sip is a thought that's too much to handle. Maybe so. There's an entire civilization in this absence. Cities erected and overthrown. Statues crafted and torn down. Immortal rulers have been replaced, ousted by some coup or another. But another revolution isn't far behind, born of too many whispers and secrets, indecencies and injustices. A tempest in a teapot, a hurricane in the heart, a siege in a smile. Maybe it's a saving grace, or a wrecking mercy; either way, there's unstoppable chaos beyond these stone walls. I just don't know which side I'm on, or what I'll choose to follow when the time comes. I just wish I could hear your voice. |