|
By Ali Date: 2008 Jun 15 Comment on this Work [[2008.06.15.10.36.16099]] |
|
Today is a day where I miss you. Tactically. Physically. Emotionally. I'm sure it's plain on my face. As if affection, and its yearning presence, swells in the gap between absence and acceptance. There are these moments, swaying precariously on the cusp of foolhardy desires. Wishes, dimmed like stars left out in the sun for too long. I can no longer account for so much, if I ever really could. Perhaps I was just fooling myself. I wouldn't be surprised to find that I still am. And I can't help but think of the irony. In my inability to say anything it all. It matches yours. Do I remain, here, quietly because you remain there, quietly? Is it pride or self-preservation? I can't say. It's days like these that remind me of the old seasons. It seems I dream of you, constantly. And that doesn't really help. I wake up from hearing your voice, only to find that I won't actually hear it. It was just a dream. How much of us was just that--a dream? Rest assured, there's love behind these words. Even if it is a little broken. Sadness, too. There's no real hint of self-defense, though. I have a habit of laying myself open, so that you can glimpse the inside. I don't know if you understood then, or if you'd understand now. I know, I know: it's complicated. And now, it's less. I miss you. And God damn it all--I wish you missed me, too. But I just don't know. You just never really know. Do you? |