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By Laurel Ahlfeld Date: 2009 Jan 28 Comment on this Work [[2009.01.28.01.25.24205]] |
| You are somewhere farther away now... over eight thousand miles. It's only for a month, and yet it seems like the beginning of an eternity. I'm growing used to the silence though. You've been away for half a year now... strange that I know almost nothing of your life there other than the occasional detail about your work. Sometimes I can't help but get jealous. Not because I don't trust you, but because people I know nothing about get to spend every day with you. They get to look into your eyes, hear your voice, enjoy your laugh, see you smile... it doesn't seem fair that strangers get parts of you I ache for every day. And yet, they are not strangers to you. They are your friends, your coworkers, your confidants. And we are the strangers now. We are living completely separate lives. The person I used to wake up to, the man I confided all my secrets in, the one who made me feel whole... he has somehow disappeared and been replaced with someone I no longer know. He is fingers typing redundant messages on a keyboard now, an occasional text message, a memory of what we used to have. He is broken promises of letters in the mail, phone calls that never come, and visits I've yet to see. Where is the man that demanded honesty and gave it in return? Where is the man who promised to let me go before he hurt me? Where is the man I loved? And what kind of a woman has his absence caused me to become? But every time I hear your voice on the phone, the shine comes back into my eyes. And every night I ache for the sound of your breath to break the silence of the dark. Part of the man I loved is still there, hiding somewhere across the world. But I cannot wait forever for him to remember to miss me. |