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By marfell1964 Date: 2009 Sep 30 Comment on this Work [[2009.09.30.23.21.6526]] |
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It's late..well actually it is early..almost 3 am. I am reading in the quiet when I suppose I should be sleeping. But it is cool here..the first real fall night. The nights are getting longer now..darkness coming sooner. People seem quieter ...slowing down.You know how I love this time of year....so I am savoring it..taking it all in...maybe until the sun shows up again. The peace that comes for me at this time settles me...I find my focus..in the darkness.In the stillness I can hear the crickets...lulling at times..soothing like a mother's lullaby...distracting at times..if I listen to them closely....maybe they have a secret to tell..but now they have triggered a memory for me..you and I here together..in this very room..in the quiet but you are trying to sleep and the noise of the crickets are distracting you...annoying you..angering you. It sounds like one may be in the house..but there is no finding it..they hide in tiny places...places you can't find..but the noise from them cannot be ignored.. much like dark thoughts and memories...they chirp from the back of our cerebral...you can't see them..but you can't stop them either..crickets and memories..they keep chirping. I am holding onto that memory reminding me of how different our lives were then. How different they are....no crickets where you are now...no mothers lullaby. Oppressive heat..arid ...insidious sand..and any humanity..if it can be found has hidden itself..in the cracks of life..much like the black singing insects here. A frightening place...at least for me..as I imagine you there..on the other side of the world. A life where sacrifice and deprivation are commonplace. Vocabularies of weapons..enemy..war..killing..dying...fear... ..courage..honor and pride have replaced our daily words. As these crickets serenade me into dawn I wonder if you know how when it is quiet like this I center myself and imagine I can sense you...feel the rise and fall of your chest...pray that you are safe..I wonder if I focus hard enough...pray hard enough..love you enough..if you can sense my thoughts as I try to capture yours..grasp them out of the space and distance that is between us. Crickets chirping and I try to fix you in my minds eye...sitting here with me safe...protected..out of harms way. A place where we could speak words and not see them as letters on a page...from much treasured emails. Where when you didn't realize it I would wait till you fell asleep..silently come back into the room..to watch you..to watch the rise and fall of your chest..knowing for this instant you were safe. Knowing that very soon there would be no more cricket serenades for you. Instead they would be replaced with gunfire in the distance..on the other side of the world. Steady yourself son..hold tight to that brave heart of yours..the dawn is approaching and the crickets and I...are waiting for you. |