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By Mercy Echenique Date: 2009 Nov 26 Comment on this Work [[2009.11.26.14.40.29504]] |
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NOT ALRIGHT How could you leave me in the dust? Why do you have to be filled with so much dark desires and lust? You have no idea how much love I have for you, but day in and day out you go behind my back, leaving me, decieving me. How could you be so cold? How could you leave me in the dust? I could be your everything. I could make your heart sing. You mean so much to me, but your killing me. Inside I'm a wreck, my heart is breaking, While quietly my soul your taking. Tears everywhere, but no one to dry my eyes. Your ripping me apart, limb from limb. Someone once told me there are two types of screams, The scream of love and the scream of hate. The scream of love is when you feel extremely happy & full-filled, And you can't help but scream with joy because your consumed with joy and happiness. The scream of hate is when you feel a great deal of pain and anger, You can't help but scream because you feel like if you do, Maybe It'll make you better and ease the pain, But in reality, the pain remains. A part of me wants nothing to do with you, But the other part of me wants nothing more than to BE with you forever. Is that crazy? Am I truly going insane? I swore I'd never give my heart to a boy, But I broke that promise for you, now there's no going back. You're literally ripping me in two. I use to be so kind, loving, warm and happy, Now all I feel like doing is screaming in pain, Crawling like an infant into a dark corner, and just cry. You are the vortex, the dark hole in my heart. You suck up the happiness to consume me in darkness. My eyes are dry from all the tears, But still I manage to conjure up some more. Will the madness ever stop? Will the lying ever cease? What kind of guy are you? I know, the type who likes to make innocent girls cry. I picture my self in your arms, and I smile. I picture you hurting me, and I cry. You make me so happy, but yet you make me so sad. I'm crying as I'm writing this, does that make me pathetic? Has she ever cried for you? Has she ever held you like I have? We cannot compare. She can't hold you like I can. How can a ghost comfort you... Trust you... Love you?? Sometimes I think I'm wasting all my time, Because no matter what I do, I can't stop you from thinking or talking to her. Someone calls to me, they tell me your a liar, cheater, deciever, I'm beginning to see that she might be right. My dreams show me what your capable of, They show me what you might do and think of. Am I wrong to hate her, hate her because she has your heart? If you can look closely, you can see that I've always been there, I've been there through thick and thin. I've always comforted you, I took u back after you hurt me. I've never ONCE hurt you, and you know I never would, So why do continue to break my heart and tear me apart? Did I really endure all this pain and torture just to be played out? I've been trying all this time to have your heart, I did so many things to prove how much I love you. I stuck around for 2 years, soon it'll be 3. Sometimes I feel so pitiful, such a worthless hopeless romantic, Who's only desire is to love and be loved. I hate when you say "we're horny and young." Correction, YOUR horny and young. Man, life is right, woman mature WAY faster than men. Men are beginning to just disgust me. I see it as pointless to fall in love because it never lasts. I wish it could last with you, but slowly I'm beginning to hate the things you do to me. Sometimes I just want to get away, get as far as I can from the male population. All they do is cause us stress and sadness. Men are the source of woman fighting one another. Crying isn't getting me anywhere, it's not going to stop the pain. I'm hurting so much, that sometimes it feels like I'm dying. I try to muffle my screams and wails of demented and agonized pain, My face on the pillow and my tears on the sheets, Hello my friend, we meet again. For so long I thought I wanted to be in love, But I'm seeing that when you get it, it comes with a price, the price of pain. I wonder why I've stuck around for so long. Letting you step all over me? Maybe its because there's a little light of hope in me hoping you'll change. I'm hoping this state of mind is just a phase, that it'll disperse with time, But it seems like it won't be leaving for a while. Maybe I should stick to poetry and leave love to the professionals. You say maybe I stick around because I like the pain you put me through. If you were in front of me right now, you wouldn't be standing. I stick around because I love you and I hope you will change and treat me better. But maybe I should start letting go of my fantasies and silly little school girl dreams, Because in reality, way in the back of my head, no matter if you deny or accept it, I will always know, to you, I will never be as good as her..... I'm sorry I can't be who you want me to be. I'm never going to be as beautiful or as elegant or as smart as her, So here I am, A fat, imperfect, normal girl. This is always going to be me, so take it or leave it. If I could change for you, I would, but I can't. Now listen to the tears of a heart broken girl, As she holds you in her chest, crying on your shoulder, Telling you she loves you, Do you look her in the eye and tell her everything is going to be alright? Or do you lie to her and say everything is going to be alright? Its never going to be alright... NEVER.. not until you stop with your corrupt and foolish ways. Here my lament, here my cries, look for me on the other side. Its not ok, the pain I'm feeling, you will never understand, All I want is your hand in mine, but as we're walking through the park, You'll be whispering your lies, "I love you, everything is going be alright." I will never be the same again, all because you want more than you already have. I hope your happy with your self. Congrats, you won. Come up and claim your prize, My shattered heart on a silver platter, just for you... |