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By Mama~Buck Date: 2010 Dec 13 Comment on this Work [[2010.12.13.19.34.24258]] |
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Again come the holidays. Again I am alone. Again I will be Mommy and Daddy and Santa all rolled into one. The older ones are easy, they get it. They understand. Its the young one that doesnt. So I try to act excited, and merry when my heart is being ripped from its core. The invites arrive, all festive and happy. I watch my friends decide on clothing, and hairstyles, while I decide what excuse to use that doesnt sound worn-out. I pray for bad weather so driving is impossible, and matches my mood. To the outside eye Iam fun, flirty and happy. Oh the disguises we wear. I paint on a smile, pull my shoulders back and head straight through the door like a quarter back. But on the inside Iam fragile, frail and desperately lonely in a room filled with people. Foolish, well wishing friends think an occassion out is all I need. I get offers of brothers and cousins and sons who would be just "perfect". When all I really want is solitude, silence, your picture, your memory and a cocktail of alcohol and the pill of the day. Again come the holidays. Again Iam alone. And I wonder...do you feel it too? |