By Farah |
Submitted by twisted_lie
Date: 2011 Jan 24
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I never understood why those long walks made me feel better, with swollen feet and me out of breath, maybe it is a way to torture myself, whatever the reason, I know I could always count on those walks. It is a means of letting go of all the negativity within me. It is the way to clear my mind of all the chaos going on, to putting an end to this rollercoaster of mixed feelings of anxiety and happiness.
I have to admit that I am too much of a thinker, I over analyze everything and when I get too engrossed into something it would be nearly impossible to convince me not to over obsess over what could even be the silliest thoughts.
I take chances but I also like to know where those chances will take me.
I am not crazy even though most of probably think Ive psyched out, but to be completely honest it is most of the time my honestly that puts me in such mess. I always speak my mind, I never thought of it as a crime, but I am more cautious now when picking my words. It is tiring not to have a solution that would please everyone. I either drive too fast and you walk too slowly or it is the exact opposite.
So with much confusion I smile, with much anxiety I smile again, with much stress I still smile, because thats the only way I know how to react and maybe with much luck I will actually mean it.
I want so many things in life; I love being independent; not having to rely on anyone, I dont think I am a bad person or so I would like to believe, I enjoy travelling, I love people with a terrific sense of humor, I love beautiful people and beautiful things, I have insecurities, I have fears, I have feelings, I want to leave this life knowing that I have at least changed someones life to the better. I am a blabber machine, once I start talking I never seem to stop, I can sometimes be misunderstood which puts me a lot of times in awkward sticky situations and I am sure my friends would second that!
Bottom line is, I am only human, a person that thinks too much, that analyzes too much, that hates hurting anyone or upsetting them, I love to love, I take a stand and speak my mind, the consequences are the least of my concerns, but once the bomb is dropped you know that there will be causalities and it is pretty hard ignoring what comes next. I am a total mess, people either love me or hate me.
I guess what I was trying to say is that starting of today this saying probably works best for me : less talking, more walking there is nothing that a long walk cant brush away.