By Just L
Date: 2011 Sep 03
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Caught in the Flash

I look at my own love sometimes, very early in the morning, before he's awake, when his face is still scrunched against the pillow, and I think about the (inevitable) friction that comes with two people trying to make their way in the world together. I'm reminded of just how big marriage is. The truth is, I like that it's big, I like that it's bigger than me. It gives my life a heft it will never have with just me in it.

Do I believe in spousal accountability? Absolutely! Do I have a teachable spirit? Not always. When my love brings up a grievance do I stop and listen to him and take his words to heart OR... do I find myself rolling my eyes and changing the subject or walking away to avoid talking about it? We all fall short in different ways.

EMA, I annoy you, and you me, practically by accident. But these are just satellites of annoyance stuck in orbit around the mass – not mess – that is our relationship. For the record, it's a gravity I have no intention of escaping.

Marriage is a big deal. Which is why, especially now, these and other “marital” flash points are just flashes in the pan. "We are both more committed all the time," I say. “And since we’ve gone through bad things together, even more so.” There is so much more important stuff than whether you leave your clothes piled on the floor or we argue once in a while when I start a sentence with no subject or whether you think I am telling you how you feel too often (when I am trying to tell you how I feel). We both feel loved, cherished, respected, adored, and incredibly attracted to each other. And, oh so lucky... blessed!

I am committed to you. I want to get it right. Yes, I will marry you, EMA. I am committed to married life.

By Just L
Written September 1, 2011