By Just L |
Date: 2011 Dec 24
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Twas the night of Christmas, the kids home from the mountain|
Not a creature was stirring, in fact they were pouting;
Their snowboards and gear were hung by the chimney to dry;
In hopes that (not to be confused with a saint) mom would let them lie,
The children were nestled all snug in their blankies,
While on the telly played Part 3 of 7 of the John Adams series;
And Devon in her kerchief, and Tyson in his cap,
Had just settled down for a long post-boarding nap,
When in the kitchen there arose such a clatter,
They sprang from the floor to see what was the matter.
Away to the next room they flew like a flash,
To see what was a flutter or what did mom bash.
There was no moon or new-fallen snow (it had melted days ago)
Fluorescent fixtures gave luster to the objects below,
When what to their wondering eyes should appear,
But mother at the stove doing something quite queer,
With a pot and a pan, so lively and quick,
They knew in a moment it must be a trick.
More rapid than eagles, her courses they came,
And she whistled, and shouted, and called them by name;
Now a dash of salt, oregano, garlic and bay leaf!
On potatoes, on celery, on onions, carrots and roast beef!
To the top with stock! To the top of La Creuset wall!
Now stew away! Stew away! Stew away all!
As she stood wildly before them, they could not believe their eyes,
Was mother cooking two days in a row, what a surprise?
So up to the counter top the courses they flew,
With bowls for a girl and a boy, and (still not a saint) mom, too.
And then, in a twinkling, we were raising the roof
The prancing and pawing, good thing the house soundproof.
As mom drew in her hand, and was turning around,
Down the chimney Perry Farrell (born Bernstein) came with a bound.
He was dressed in zebra velour, from his head to his foot,
And his Docs were all tarnished with ashes and soot;
His Hebrew name Peretz (פרץ) tattooed on his back,
The godfather of alt rock produced Flea from his pack.
His eyes how they twinkled! His dimples how merry!
They broke out a guitar and a bass, both made of cherry!
Droll Dave Navarro joined in for One Hot Minute
And the pierced chin trio made quite an Obama-esque racket;
They began dancing and singing, we werent sure what would happen.
And a Satellite Party ensued; nothing short of a shocking reunion;
A smile crossed moms face and she ignored her little round belly.
That shook, when she danced like a bowlful of jelly.
She had a muffin top, not plump, a right jolly lil shelf,
And Devon laughed when she saw her, in spite of herself;
A wink of her eye, and banging her head,
Soon the kids knew they had nothing to dread;
They lip-synced Jane Says and Stop, this was not work,
They did the rock lobster, the sprinkler, the jerk,
And Perry he sang Did You Forget inspired by Kabballah,
And up the chimney he rose, giving a Holla
Mom sprang to her feet, gave a loud cheer and a whistle,
And told us wed just witnessed a Christmas miracle.
Yes, shed cooked two days in a row and was sorry to give us such fright.
Hope you have a rockn Christmas, and to all a good-night!
By Just L
Written Christmas 2008