|
By marfell1964 Date: 2012 Jul 31 Comment on this Work [[2012.07.31.22.22.18432]] |
|
Armor By suffusion It was forever ago. His parents would visit the neighbors next door and their daughter was my best friend… so there we would be… trying to entertain a boy who had no interest in what filled two little girls days….days of dolls and dreaming of a life outside of this slumbering town. Even that far back and as young as I was..I could sense the distinction in him. He hardly noticed me..if at all. My other half was golden haired with legs that went on forever and even before puberty hit..that fair hair could still draw the attention of the opposite sex. That pain of being ignored has long since faded and been replaced with the knowing that when you receive things that aren’t earned… eventually they just leave an empty space. On into our teenage years he has shown up again…this time a young man. Handsome..witty…boyish charm. Full of sarcasm and ambition. That distinction is still there…almost a “too cool for the room” feeling. No conceit or false bravado…and I am not sure if he is even aware of it..but it is there. Life happened and he moved on..to fuel that yearning far away from mediocre midwestern life. So here he is again…a quarter of a century later..sitting across the table from me. All grown up and his ambition has served him well. A life of success and airplanes and fast friends. I imagine that his accomplishments have come with a price…of long hours and even longer days. He’s still handsome and sarcastic …still carrying that distinction about him. As he explains to me how he has played as hard as he has worked I am acutely aware of the “air”…which from this close proximity…now seems more like armor… and I wonder what he is protecting. Looking into his eyes the realization that with all the success…the working too hard…the playing too hard…he has never loved… too hard. Never been knocked off his feet…never lost his breath…never felt that all consuming fever. His armor has served him as well as his ambition. It’s protecting his heart… No one gets in…and yet the Universe has placed him here again. I have this feeling that I am holding the key to that armor…placed in my trust..centuries before…but with everything I know…I still feel like that little girl..with her doll…and no fair hair in sight. |