By Galadrial
Date: 2012 Sep 12
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Paid In Full

Eleven years passed,
and I packed my bags,
loaded up the car
and put NJ in my rear view mirror at long last.

Haunted by the day,
but truth told,
we were no hot romance
when the planes did their worst.
I just learned that you can care,
but that doesn't make it love,
and even if it is
love ain't enough to hold you upright
when life takes you to your knees.

I stayed and tried to make it work,
I cooked and cleaned, and kept you fed,
packed your bags when the work was away,
tried to walk when I could not,
tried to work when I couldn't,
and every day it got thinner
and more threadbare,
and I got more frantic
for the basics I never seemed to reach.

And then they sent you after Katrina,
and the anguish in your words
cut through the bad cell connection,
you'd seen too damned much,
and would never see the world
the same way again.

Six year passed,
and I could not be
enough "Us" for us two,
Scraped bare, and bottomed out,
I did not choose to leave you love,
but I had to choose live or die
and I chose to kick to the surface,
and pray you find your way
through the riptide
that tried to take us both down.

I left you with a Harley for a mistress,
a new life if you can dare,
and you can call me bitch all you like---
When I left we were both alive,
and that's better than it could have been,
had I remained to watch
the ship sinking so completely
they would never have found our bones.