By Farah |
Submitted by twisted_lie
Date: 2015 May 12
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I was promised seven swans but instead, I ended up with seven years of bad luck. There I sat, on the floor, with chipped and broken parts of an antique mirror, staring at my own reflection in a tiny funny shaped piece.
In a desperate attempt, I started picking up those pieces and tried to glue them back together but with every try I cut myself unintentionally.
By the time I was done putting it back in one piece, my hands were in a terrible state and the mirror looked nothing like it was when I first got it.
There was an inner battle inside of me that I was struggling to control. Slowly but surely my demons had to eventually emerge to surface.
I lived this rather pleasant phase with two interesting personas; the dancing shadows on the wall that used to mock me on a daily basis and the unforgiving ghost who constantly deprived me of my most cherished memories by disappearing into the dark, leaving me with crumbs of what could be happy thoughts.
Given all this, I knew I would suddenly snap but I wasnt quite sure when.
Days had the same motion, nothing felt real and relationships with people lacked that genuine feel. I wanted more but in order to get more, you have to give more and I was drained with nothing to offer but my confusion. I guess we were all caught up in our own ring of fire.
When it comes to the storm inside my heart; confusion was half of the story, for I may have seemed calm on the outside, but on the inside, boy oh boy, there was a tsunami waiting to happen. Waves of self hate, knitted with beads of insecurities and patches of illusion. I was like a ship in the middle of the sea with no clear destination and no sense of purpose, sailing in unknown waters and hoping for the best; to find my way home.
Are you not curious to know how I got myself into this mess?
I will come to that but all in good time.