By Marshall R. M. Hann
Submitted by Blessed23
Date: 2017 Jan 08
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Today was my 33rd birthday
and I woke up
from the drink
at 3:45pm.

I cradled my phone for a while
and then went to have a shower
to wash the smell
of shit
from my
horizontally growing

and my woman knocked on the door,
though I did not know yet
that it was her,
but I finished my routine
and dried myself off
hair first
upper-body second
then squat down low,
towel tucked between the knees.

Stand up
get the ass crack
and just below
the balls.

Open the bathroom door
and walk slowly
towards the door
to hear the whisperings
of women

It's 3:31am
and I light a cigarette.

it's about 4pm
and I open the door
and my woman
and hands me some cupcakes
that she heard me request once
as I bullshitted to some paragon
hum in the darkness
when I had nothing to say.

I think that she may not understand
that she doesn't actually understand

I don't understand the truth
so I guess that makes us

I tried to give 'em back,
but she ran
so I resigned myself to defeat
and closed the door.  I looked about
and called to my remaining cat, Bub,
and asked

"you want

Bub just stared at me
for a few seconds and turned around
and stuck her uppity ass up at my face
and walked

I laid them down by the entrance
and walked back inside.

Teeth scrubbed
clothing put on,
hair made fake
and still.

I punch in.

Some "Would you like a refill?"s
with an  "All finished there, folks?"
punctuated by another
"Oh, gods,
help me,
what is it
that keeps me chained to this Twilight Zone
crazy burning floor?

The flames up to your waist
making you humble
and managing to make each minute
your minute
each minute
for just a few minutes."

And it's 9:05pm,
still it's my birthday, torturously
and a woman walks into the restaurant
and she says
"for three, please."

I put her at a booth
and continue about my boring hour
with little else but a couple
"have a good night, folks."

At 9;30 the rest of her table comes in,
it's four, not three.

They order at 9:45.

The one Guy out of the four of them
tries to joke with me,
I should add.

And these fuckers
stayed an hour past close
and 59 minutes
before I could have been done
even after
he made sure I sang to his daughter
for her birthday
even without another soul
in the restaurant
(the fucking godamned
then he has the balls
to tip me 4%.

I've been one hell of a
piece of shit
in my life,
but I've never forgotten
to return kindness
or beauty
when I've been lucky enough
in my Russian Roulette
of a life
to have it lay down with me.

I've never forgotten that the waitresses
and waiters
of the world
are poor, trodden on souls,
so I've always tipped the poor bastards well
and been thankful for any goodness
that brings itself my way

'cause it's all fleeting
and transient


Fuck it,
I made a hundred bucks
and I'm going home.

I crack a beer
and sink into my couch.

it's 4:16am
and I light a smoke.

It's another night,
another day passed
another day
a mistake of

I sit here now
at 4:31 am
after a day of what was

And you mean to tell me
that you still think
that I have worth?

Celebrate what?

Tell me

Don't bullshit me,
I've seen enough
to know that I ain't special.

The sun's gonna rise soon

I need to sleep,
so au revoir.