hey, guppy...
i definitely detect a Schultz influence in *bleedin'through*...Lucy is so obviously the "diurnal goddess." Hehehe.
:)misti
oops! shoulda been SCHULZ. as in CHARLES.
This is quite a venue here. I've seen a lot of talented people and I'm learning some things as well. I tried out my first prose (I think.) It's called "Moments With You". Could someone critique it for me? Please be honest, I want to learn.
Megs, I just read your latest submissions. Your writing is remarkable. Deb
Misti
Sorry 'bout it takin' so long to get back to ya. Not had a chance to come here till now. Work has been chaotic, to say the least and I've bee utterly exhausted by the time I get home. My apologies, once again.
What I meant by "I Wonder... was "Forever Frenzied" painted a very clear picture for me. I picked up on a rather very insightful "YOU." It felt as though you were saying that you were being moved upon much too quickly. That the feelings you were begginning to feel was not enough for the one you were writing about. Yet, didn't (or couldn't) want to say. You wanted, at the very least for it (love) to be the masterpiece you have (or had) desired for a long time. However, you were bewildered by the strength of feelings coming from the "other". I felt as though the person you were speaking of had other ties or maybe other commitments and you, so very much, wanted (or wished) them gone (the ties or commitments, that is). I felt that (in the poem) this person was also a somewhat new acquaintance, known for a rather short period of time, but had made such an impression on you that you were willing to discard some of the front that we are all guilty of when meeting someone new.
The ending is what grabbed me the most. Your words "A million words to tie us down, One kiss to glisten in the crown" said more to me than the words themselves. I felt that you were weary of words and now wanted action. All it would take is that one tender, loving kiss. Even if it was to be one last kiss, you would feel the same about that "someone" FOREVER. Could there be a future? "The Kiss" would tell all.
Passion 8
Eric- Awww hun. That was more than a compliment and it made me all the happier that I wrote those thoughts. You can understand it better than others since you know who the "he" is...
And Debra- Thank you. I feel like I am growing here as a writer and as a person. Maybe I should throw in a thanks to Kirk as well...since he made this site/emotional refuge for me and my lil girl thoughts...
I am happier right now than I have been in days.
Mojave- I noticed your new email address and even though you don't email me anymore...do you have ICQ now?
Oh nooooo! In my newest submission I left the first "r" outta surprise! Sorry 'bout that.
Kevin,
Yes. Right on! Thanks for the clarification. Your perception of that particular poem is eerily accurate!
Your favorite part is mine, too. You know, maybe I should buy another bottle of wine. I really do think it helps!
Thanks again, dude.
Hey Misti
Thanks for getting back so quickly. But do me a favor, would ya? When opening another bottle of wine, PLEASE DO NOT break the bottle. It may taste good goin' down, but it's the comin' out that may HURT LIKE HELL. (LOL)
Also, I kind-a would like a critique of my stuff. Been thinkin' 'bout goin' public, but still have some doubts.
I have a total of 52 to date, with words poundin' on my head. Sometimes I can't keep 'em straight. Hope to write more soon, but as I said work is killin' me.
Passion 8
mojave...great job with the poetry...like your style
i offer some friendly advice about love...don't tear yourself up because of it...love is a good thing...enjoy it while it's there, because nothing is guaranteed...i do know the whole stir crazy, chain smoking, drinking too much, freaking out thing that sometimes goes along with being in love...i've been there...and i've been in the long distance thing too...it's not easy to be far from the one you're going nuts about...just relax, be cool, be patient(as much as possible), and remember that being in love is good...being stressed out is not...
take care of yourself, man...
later,
gup
I've had fun with words here lately. I'm really ashamed of my last submission and all the stuff I submitted when I was drunk. From now on, I'm going to be more careful about what I submit.
My life is such crap right now. I have been consumed with the Internet and haven't been looking for a job like I should. I've been enjoying things too much and feeling like Brenda or Kelly from "90210."
This is just to say that I know who I want and who I love and am in love with and from now on, it's all about me improving myself to become the kind of woman he deserves. From now on, it's all about him.
Hope this isn't too cryptic. But HE knows, and that's all that matters!!!
Hey everyone help me out,
Go to this site that my friends and I are working on:
Thenuttman.com
I know this doesn't have much to do with poetry, but we may put poetry on there eventually, it's just funny for now,
and if anyone likes what is there and feels a funny bone in their body and wants to contribute, email: webmaster@thenuttman.com
Thanks Everyone, You all rock
Meg, "Third Person" --very clever! what an ingenious use of a comment.