From: Christopher Lake (aka Dope Fiend and about a million others... ha!)<BR>
Date: 28 May 2000<P>

Nikki,<BR>
<BR>
I'm sorry we haven't talked in a while, but I want to congratulate you! I'm so happy for you! You deserve every bit of your happiness, and I wish you and Chris only the best. (I will email you... Promise!)<BR>
<BR>
Misti darling,<BR>
<BR>
I love you more than life. You know that... We speak different languages sometimes, but it works because we both <BR>
know the code. Words get in the way, it's true--but we're not about words anyway. We're about those connections that come along once in a lifetime (if that). Words are just what we have to deal with until we can say it all in other ways. I love you, my sweetest girl...
<HR>
From: Michael (Wrecked and All shook up)<BR>
Date: 28 May 2000<P>

Misti ~ exactly! The promises you make are so hard to keep. It's crazy to think anyone can keep a promise forever and silly to think they can keep one for a long time.<BR>
The only promises we can keep are the ones were were keeping before we promised. And then the promise is just a formality. For example, it's easy to promise to love someone you already love. And it's easy to keep while you love them. But it's crazy for them to expect you to keep the promise forever.<BR>
<BR>
Unless they've you've loved them just short of forever. I can make all sorts of promises about loving my family. I can't make any about doing specific things at specific times though.
<HR>
From: Michael (Pumping car stereo)<BR>
Date: 28 May 2000<P>

By the way I messed up with Breakable. It's a song from the Great Expectation soundtrack. Fisher sings it. Gwenneth Paltrow is fine.
<HR>
From: Michael (driving with knees)<BR>
Date: 28 May 2000<P>

Misti ~ &lt;golf clap&gt;
<HR>
From: Misti<BR>
Date: 28 May 2000<P>

Michael~<BR>
   Spoken (written) like a true Gemini! Ha! It's not that I'm fickle, it's just that I think words are basically useless. I don't think I ever want to get married. Too many words are involved. I just want to hang out with one man I really crave who really craves me in cheap motel rooms across the Southwest. I want to take road trips with him and take pictures of mesas and cacti and roadrunners with him. That's all.<BR>
Chris~<BR>
   I still haven't gone to Whataburger! I just realized...they're only serving breakfast now! Yuck! But I know I'm going to have to leave this apartment soon and brave the outside world or else I'll starve to death. A woman cannot live on love alone. She also needs corn dogs. Ha! Actually, I have a whole box of corn dogs in my freezer but I'm bored with them, already. I'm craving chicken strips and Texas toast and cream gravy and a chocolate milkshake. <BR>
   I'm still laughing about *Whatapromise*! I can't believe you actually believed me when I told you it was a Bob Dylan song! I sang it like Dylan earlier and cracked up at the idea of him singing such a song! Ha! Craziness!
<HR>
From: Misti<BR>
Date: 28 May 2000<P>

Michael~<BR>
  What is a golf clap? My ex played golf. I don't like it. Unless it's Put Put and you can make your own rules and throw the clubs in the fake river and kiss someone underneath the waterfall.
<HR>
From: Misti<BR>
Date: 28 May 2000<P>

Oh, duh! I just realized you were referring to the poem I just submitted! Thanks!
<HR>
From: Misti<BR>
Date: 28 May 2000<P>

Oh hell! I misspelled "psychosomatic"! I'll never be perfect at this rate!
<HR>
From: Angel<BR>
Date: 28 May 2000<P>

Misti, I quit trying to do that a Longgggggggggggggg time ago...:))) And now i'm pretty damn happy!
<HR>
From: Michael (first gear)<BR>
Date: 28 May 2000<P>

I'm out of my funk. Tell me if all my work lately has sucked. It's only love after all.<BR>
<BR>

<HR>
From: n.p.<BR>
Date: 28 May 2000<P>

Misti-<BR>
<BR>
Your poems are always great, but "Da Luckiest" made me crack my first smile of the day.  I know the feeling, girl, and we are lucky when we finally find him!  <BR>
<BR>

<HR>
From: deevaa  ([email-masked])<BR>
Date: 28 May 2000<P>

Nikki -- <BR>
<BR>
&lt;big wide smiles&gt; way to go girl.. thats GREAT news. &lt;does the deevaa dance&gt; yippeeeee for happiness and love and stuff.<BR>
<BR>
Things at deevaa's house are pretty hectic at the moment, I had a friend come down to take some photos of me, and we had a blast foolin' about with his digital camera.<BR>
<BR>
I'm awaiting Terry, Gala and Riggs to send some material my way for possible illustration, and that to me is the most amazingly exciting challenge.... and there is this new artist being cabled into my life via modem who is reminding me of all the reasons why I push myself to my limits... he reminds me why I love to created and why extending myself so far it scares me is good for me. &lt;blushing slightly&gt; Thanks Dana.<BR>
<BR>
dee<BR>
<BR>
<BR>

<HR>
From: nikki playing catch-up<BR>
Date: 28 May 2000<P>

Ok, so I said I would catch-up this weekend on all the new stuff...and here I am...please forgive me Kirk, as I know this is going to be a long entry!<BR>
<BR>
Evangeline--Velvet Elvis is really something...very real<BR>
<BR>
Lyndsay--How true about the eyes..I like the simplicity of 'The Heart'<BR>
<BR>
Kev--I think the trip did you good.  I like '11 hours'..It makes me look forward to the trip I am taking even more..and 'Control Burns' is something that I think few of us remember when it comes to loving..<BR>
<BR>
Megs--'Two Wrongs...'My heart goes out to you ,girl.. ~gentle hugs from one who cares~<BR>
<BR>
Michael--'Shannon Sways' is beautiful...and 'I Don't Know' is very well put..sometimes I need to remind myself that it's ok..thanks...and I notice that you have tons more inspiration than I could ever hope for...pass some my way please?  Keep up the good work!<BR>
<BR>
Paul--I love 'Handyman'.  Good use of words, my friend!  :)<BR>
<BR>
Terry--'Mastered' is good..it just reached out and grabbed me...sometiimes they do that though!<BR>
<BR>
Hank--'Caught' is another one that reached out to me...it's funny how people can write things that will always gain notice because one could not write them themselves...<BR>
<BR>
Misti (the original one...not that other one)-- Whatapromise--I forgot how much I love corn dogs...and I know that's not the purpose of the piece, but thanks for reminding me!...and I love 'Da Luckiest' although in my present frame of mind, I might have to argue the point of who's luckier...me or you...why don't we call it a draw?  and I like 'Emerald Green Nail Polish' too...<BR>
<BR>
And anyone I missed, I am sorry, so please forgive me....they were all good, as they always are, just some of them I have to comment on individually...does that sound bad, like I am slighting someone if I didn't comment individually?  I hope not...<BR>
<BR>
Chris--Thanks for the well wishes, and I know you will e-mail me, and I know you are distracted, and I definitely forgive you, as love is the greatest distraction, and Misti deserves it.  <BR>
<BR>
Misti--as far as perfect goes...it doesn't exist on a general level...I think certain people and situations decree whether a person is perfect or not, such as, does my Chris think I am perfect?  I certainly hope not, or he is in for a rude awakening..I no longer aspire to be so, I'm happy just being me (well, most of the time)...and I am now starving, and have to go have fast food...<BR>
<BR>
And Dee...Thank you thank you thank you for the deevaa dance, and for being so happy for me.  <BR>
<BR>
I am seriously going to try to output more work, but I am looking inside my teeny tiny head (it's actually a normal size head, it just feels very tiny right now) and I am sadly not seeing anything of an inspirational nature in there.<BR>
<BR>
and who has the next pages of the 'Destiny' by the way?<BR>
<BR>
running to McD's....nikki
<HR>
From: nikki playing catch-up<BR>
Date: 28 May 2000<P>

Ok, so I said I would catch-up this weekend on all the new stuff...and here I am...please forgive me Kirk, as I know this is going to be a long entry!<BR>
<BR>
Evangeline--Velvet Elvis is really something...very real<BR>
<BR>
Lyndsay--How true about the eyes..I like the simplicity of 'The Heart'<BR>
<BR>
Kev--I think the trip did you good.  I like '11 hours'..It makes me look forward to the trip I am taking even more..and 'Control Burns' is something that I think few of us remember when it comes to loving..<BR>
<BR>
Megs--'Two Wrongs...'My heart goes out to you ,girl.. ~gentle hugs from one who cares~<BR>
<BR>
Michael--'Shannon Sways' is beautiful...and 'I Don't Know' is very well put..sometimes I need to remind myself that it's ok..thanks...and I notice that you have tons more inspiration than I could ever hope for...pass some my way please?  Keep up the good work!<BR>
<BR>
Paul--I love 'Handyman'.  Good use of words, my friend!  :)<BR>
<BR>
Terry--'Mastered' is good..it just reached out and grabbed me...sometiimes they do that though!<BR>
<BR>
Hank--'Caught' is another one that reached out to me...it's funny how people can write things that will always gain notice because one could not write them themselves...<BR>
<BR>
Misti (the original one...not that other one)-- Whatapromise--I forgot how much I love corn dogs...and I know that's not the purpose of the piece, but thanks for reminding me!...and I love 'Da Luckiest' although in my present frame of mind, I might have to argue the point of who's luckier...me or you...why don't we call it a draw?  and I like 'Emerald Green Nail Polish' too...<BR>
<BR>
And anyone I missed, I am sorry, so please forgive me....they were all good, as they always are, just some of them I have to comment on individually...does that sound bad, like I am slighting someone if I didn't comment individually?  I hope not...<BR>
<BR>
Chris--Thanks for the well wishes, and I know you will e-mail me, and I know you are distracted, and I definitely forgive you, as love is the greatest distraction, and Misti deserves it.  <BR>
<BR>
Misti--as far as perfect goes...it doesn't exist on a general level...I think certain people and situations decree whether a person is perfect or not, such as, does my Chris think I am perfect?  I certainly hope not, or he is in for a rude awakening..I no longer aspire to be so, I'm happy just being me (well, most of the time)...and I am now starving, and have to go have fast food...<BR>
<BR>
And Dee...Thank you thank you thank you for the deevaa dance, and for being so happy for me.  <BR>
<BR>
I am seriously going to try to output more work, but I am looking inside my teeny tiny head (it's actually a normal size head, it just feels very tiny right now) and I am sadly not seeing anything of an inspirational nature in there.<BR>
<BR>
and who has the next pages of the 'Destiny' by the way?<BR>
<BR>
running to McD's....nikki
<HR>
From: shamefully nikki<BR>
Date: 28 May 2000<P>

I am SSOOOOOOOOO sorry about that horrible double post, Kirk, but the little message that shows what was submitted didn't come up, so I figured it didn't work.  Do ya forgive me?  Pleasssssssssssseeeeeeee?<BR>
<BR>
<BR>
hanging my head in shame...n
<HR>
From: Michael<BR>
Date: 28 May 2000<P>

You'll have lots of inspiration if you're a crazy elvis impersonator.<BR>
<BR>
And she's with him. And she's dropping sutblte hints that she wants to be with you. But she's not available for further comment or explanation.<BR>
<BR>
I'll leave it at that. I'm trying to be positive here. But my next couple posts will still be not that positive.<BR>
<BR>
Sigh. Be careful what you wish for Nikki.<BR>
What you want the most could meet you halfway.<BR>
What you fear the most could meet you halfway.<BR>
<BR>
I do not write. The words write themselves. <BR>
<BR>
And what they are saying is exactly how I feel. And exactly how I feel scares me.
<HR>
From: Misti<BR>
Date: 28 May 2000<P>

I know perfection is impossible but I just read *Emerald Green Nail Polish* again and realized I wrote,"take me own" instead of "take me on." It just bothers me when I make such damn goofy mistakes and I don't feel like submitting the poem again because of one word. I should not be submitting misspelled poems! I should be packing my boxes!<BR>
"on the road again! just can't wait to get on the road again!"<BR>
~willie nelson, a native of the Lone Star state
<HR>
From: nikki<BR>
Date: 28 May 2000<P>

Michael--I am always very careful of what I wish for...and you are not the only one who's feelings scare the living daylights out of them...just wanted you to know that you are not alone!<BR>
<BR>
Misti--I had to re-read 'Emerald Green Nail Polish'...I didn't catch the typo the first time around...it just kind of flowed through my brain and I guess I saw what was supposed to be there, rather than what was really there.<BR>
<BR>
And did I miss something?  Are you moving?<BR>
<BR>
still not writing anything worth thinking about...nikki
<HR>
From: Misti<BR>
Date: 28 May 2000<P>

Nikki~<BR>
   Yes! I'm leaving town before the first. I'm going to house sit for my mom and step-dad while they're in Jamaica and look for work in Beaumont and Houston and Austin. <BR>
    North Central Texas is no good. Too many tornadoes and rock trucks.<BR>
    Congratulations on YOUR move,btw! I wish you much happiness!
<HR>
From: terry<BR>
Date: 28 May 2000<P>

Angel,<BR>
'Little Green Nail Polish' is an absolute delight to read,<BR>
<BR>
Michael,<BR>
The times may not be perfect right now, but you are  doing some good stuff. Breakable and Careful What You Wish For are both good.<BR>
<BR>
Dee,<BR>
The images in 'You Are To Me' are fabulous. <BR>
<BR>
terry<BR>

<HR>
From: Michael<BR>
Date: 28 May 2000<P>

Nikki ~ Doubt is a big black beast in my belly. It's a sick, sick thing that I'm talking to her with poems posted on the blender. <BR>
<BR>
Dejaya ~ I'm sending you more mail. Please don't post anonymously again. Or post it and mail it also. Please.  [email-masked]<BR>

<HR>
From: Michael<BR>
Date: 28 May 2000<P>

Terry ~ I don't really care about whether my poetry is good. Not right now anyway. I'm worried about her.
<HR>
From: nikki...perhaps with inspiration<BR>
Date: 28 May 2000<P>

Dee--"You are to Me' I like the feeling it brings about, and I would love to see the painting you do to go with it.<BR>
<BR>
Michael--Sometimes writing is the only way to communicate what one feels...words don't easily spoken, and actions sometimes aren't available...If she is reading...then I am sure she knows of your concern..<BR>
<BR>
Misti--Thanks for the well wishes...now we just have to find a place to live, and I have to start looking for job prospects for when I get there...Ahhh...the joys of moving...NOT! (but it's all worth it this time!)
<HR>