From: Misti<BR>
Date: 29 May 2000<P>

Chris,<BR>
  Hell, yeah, I'm biased...but I love your latest! It thrills me to my toenails that I inspire such eBuLLieNt poetry in you!<BR>
xoxoxooxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
<HR>
From: nikki<BR>
Date: 29 May 2000<P>

ok..I'm totally fed up with my lack of inspiration, and the fact that I think my pager froze, which is really an inopportune time for it to happen....sheesh!<BR>
<BR>
Chris! I love 'The Hard Part Comes', and if you keep posting stuff like that, I will definitely forgive you for not writing me an e-mail.  Hold on to him Misti!<BR>
<BR>
Dee--I love the imaging!  You amaze me woman!  I wish I had half as much artistic talent...but I can't even draw stick people.  :)<BR>
<BR>
Terry--Your last one made me so sad.  It's really good, though, even if I am worried about you now.<BR>
<BR>
That's it for tonight ladies and gents...Happy Memorial Day!<BR>
<BR>

<HR>
From: terry<BR>
Date: 29 May 2000<P>

Michael,<BR>
Hang in there the best way you can find. I would never presume to offer real advice, because we are strangers. What I can say is that we are both in this place at this time so we have the Blender in common, and the emotions that are showing in your writing, well every one has been in my heart at one time or another in varying degrees of strength. As they have in a multitude of others here. By writing in such a proliferating manner, you are doing yourself a great service, and you are right. Color it all good because that is really beside the point. And all that is about as useful for you to hear now as a snowcone in February...<BR>
terry
<HR>
From: terry<BR>
Date: 29 May 2000<P>

Thank you nikki,<BR>
Makes me feel better just to know another soul in the night cared enough to worry, though you shouldn't.<BR>
<BR>
Don't know whose insomnia is worse though, yours or mine...:)<BR>
<BR>
t.<BR>
<BR>

<HR>
From: Michael (riding a pale horse)<BR>
Date: 29 May 2000<P>

Terry ~ I'm trying. I'm trying. I said some mean things to DeJaya in some mails I sent her. I'm terribly confused. If she wasn't getting married I would be in DC right now calling out her name. I was joking with her at first about me being the other man. I didn't expect this. <BR>
<BR>
I sent some hasty poems and emails before I made my real descision. I'm spinning around in circles. I'm finding this startlingly like a sitcom or movie or something. Well, if there's a happy ending.<BR>
<BR>
I want to be with her. I'm ready now to help her make it. Over here. But she's got to make the choice and I wasn't sending the most positive of messages if you know what I mean.<BR>
<BR>
My life is cloudy. There were certain things about us that we could never agree on that make it a big deal. I mean if she chooses me she's giving up a sure thing that she can agree with. I definitely want the chance for an upgrade to the rest of my life with a dotted line and a diamond, but there are some ground rules we didn't agree on then. I don't know if they changed. Where's the silver lining?<BR>
<BR>
And I haven't even talked to her on the damn phone yet. We've been in contact like this for almost 3 months. We've been doing this posting thing for days.<BR>
<BR>
I'm a wreck. I hope you guys like my last one. It's as vicious and heartfelt sarcastic and real as I can get. I'm the bad guy.<BR>
<BR>
God I need the hot sun right now.
<HR>
From: Angel<BR>
Date: 29 May 2000<P>

Terry~ The "Emerald Green Nailpolish" One was Misti's work, not mine. But you were right about it being very good:)<BR>
<BR>
And i'm worried about all the sadness floating all the board...so everybody line up...time for a great BIGG Blender-Hugg!!! <BR>
((((((((((BLENDERITES))))))))))<BR>
<BR>
*SMILE*
<HR>
From: Megs<BR>
Date: 29 May 2000<P>

WOW!!! I go away for two lil ole days...<BR>
<BR>
Micheal- you are doin' a crazy poem thing!!! But inspiration has certainly hit.<BR>
<BR>
Dee- I loved your last...but I couldn't get the image/painting to come thru on my 'puter.  Piece of CRAP!!!  hehe.<BR>
<BR>
Kev-  Yours are awesome of course.  I loved "The Words"<BR>
<BR>
Gala- Where AAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRREEE You?  I need a call tomorrow morning so we can bash men.<BR>
<BR>
Latest tidbit in the saga o'my love (lust?)life.  Calvin and I split.  New guy and I almost slept together...he went to Sheetz for...well for the sake of "no glove no love" FGM *grin*...he went to Sheetz and then...he never came back.  So much for THAT love affair.  I am not big on men leaving me hanging at some strange house...he is SHADY. <BR>
<BR>
Oh but there will be poems.  THAT at least is a guarantee.
<HR>
From: Jenna Holland ([email-masked])<BR>
Date: 29 May 2000<P>

Riggs- "Pretty Paper" Love the lines...<BR>
"Just a decoration in my bedroom.<BR>
A trophy on my arm.<BR>
You better believe not,<BR>
cos that would make you replaceable.<BR>
And you're not."<BR>
  Been there too many times, Glad to see you are back.<BR>
<BR>
Michael- I LOVE that song!!! I was gonna submit the words today, and there and behold you already did it!<BR>
<BR>
-Jenna-
<HR>
From: Angel<BR>
Date: 29 May 2000<P>

I do have a page...*SMILE*<BR>
Just that i am wayyyyyyyyyy behind on it.<BR>
I am the BIGGEST procrastinator in the world!<BR>
My home page is:<BR>
<BR>
http://www.angelfire.com/ga2/angellove.html<BR>
or simply<BR>
http://www.askangellove.com<BR>
<BR>
Here is my newest poem in URL form, not even linked right to main page, so sending addy seperate...I am still learning html tables ...grrrrrrr..any HELP????<BR>
<BR>
http://www.angelfire.com/ga2/angellove/youandi.html<BR>
<BR>
And Terry...may i have your homepage addy?
<HR>
From: Michael (the bad guy on a pale horse)<BR>
Date: 29 May 2000<P>

I found the words I needed to explain it. There's coming up. It wont get any better than what comes next. I'm doing my best for her.<BR>
<BR>
Dammit
<HR>
From: terry<BR>
Date: 29 May 2000<P>

Misti?  Angel?<BR>
My apologies all around...sheesh I even got the title wrong. I gotta learn to quit makin' posts at 4:00am in the midst of an insomnia induced stupor....<BR>
Thanks for the group hug, and here is the latest version of my pages, though I am still not happy with it and am constantly tinkering...<BR>
<BR>
http://www.geocities.com/awesternstateofmind
<HR>
From: nikki<BR>
Date: 29 May 2000<P>

Hi gang!<BR>
<BR>
Wow--I go to sleep for a few hours, and there are all kinds of new stuff on the Blender!  I love it..it's like the elves and the shomaker...wow, I haven't thought of that in forever!<BR>
<BR>
Terry--I was worried, but now I'm ok..thanks for the mail.<BR>
<BR>
Megs--What is UP girl?  I read your Board post before I read your new sub...'70 Miles...' which is pretty good.  But it was the comment...'I always thought they left the morning after'...I'm sorry, I have to be honest, and I laughed when I read that, not laughing at you, tyhough..because I always thought that too.  Hang in there hon!<BR>
<BR>
Kev--You got some great stuff kicking there.  You da Man!<BR>
<BR>
Riggs--I love Pretty Paper...You are so right..who cares what the paper looks like, it's what's inside that counts!<BR>
<BR>
Michael--I don't have words for what your piece made me feel..just try to hang in there!  Even when you can't see the silver lining, it's there...believe me, I know!<BR>
<BR>
Ok, Blenderites...gotta go write a wedding poem...what do I know about weddings???  <BR>
<BR>
ripping my hair out in frustration....nikki<BR>

<HR>
From: Misti<BR>
Date: 29 May 2000<P>

Chris,<BR>
  It was nine and a half hours, sweetheart! Remember? You called at 12:30 and we hung up at 10:10 (my time)! Details, details. Ha! I am more in love with you than I have ever been and I'm going to write you a passionate perfumed lipstick kissed letter now!<BR>
<BR>
...to the anonymous person who thinks I need to be "slapped": I'm going to keep shoutin' my LOVE from the rooftops with no apologies and no shame. So deal with it!
<HR>
From: nikki<BR>
Date: 29 May 2000<P>

Oh my god!  News Flash...it's a ROMANCE site!  Misti....you shout as loud and as long as you want, girl!  Cuz I'm right there beside you on that mountain!
<HR>
From: deevaa<BR>
Date: 29 May 2000<P>

I can't see an post that said that Misti needs to be slapped, I do say one that said she did before Chris... details details... LOL .... sorry its one of those mornings, my son woke me up 5 times last night to tell me he didn't want anything.... I'm tired and grouchy, and worst yet my new digi cam won't play nicely with my computer.<BR>
<BR>
Megs, the image isn't all that exciting, I've never worked with PhotoShop for drawing before so there is MUCH room for improvement, I think I'll do a traditional painting of it.<BR>
<BR>
dee
<HR>
From: HMS<BR>
Date: 29 May 2000<P>

EVERYONE--<BR>
<BR>
Wow.  There sure is a lot of STUFF out there.  My life is pretty plain-jane-vanilla-nuthin' right now, and I'm having quite a time absorbing all of the LOVE, both traumatic and ecstactic, that's floating around in the blender.  But I hope you ALL feel that things are better because you've got people on the board who truly care about you (even if they don't know you at all!).  I rejoice in your good news and sympathize with your struggles.  I'm thinking of you guys!<BR>
(And not writing a damn thing except lame e-mails.)
<HR>
From: Michael (holstering twin six shooters)<BR>
Date: 29 May 2000<P>

I'm out of ammo. I'm going to work.<BR>
Chris, Misti ~ I wish you guys good luck. You bring me hope that not all passionate screwy relationships have to be heartbreaking all the time. And your poetry is beautiful<BR>
<BR>
nikki ~ good luck darlin. You don't need a cowboy like that anyway. Trust me, I know what I'm talking about. I'm the bad guy and I recognize 'em.<BR>
<BR>
Gala ~ It's hard to choose between people you love. The hardest choice I ever had to make was between myself and DeJaya. Guess which I chose? Now I'm all shook up.<BR>
<BR>
Megs ~ sometimes 75 miles an hour isn't fast enough. You'll rope a little doggie someday. I have faith. I tried 85 and she ran me down like the doggie I am.<BR>
<BR>
Kevin ~ I love the open road too. Prairies. &lt;sigh&gt;<BR>
<BR>
HMS ~ They aren't lame.<BR>
<BR>
To myself and DeJaya ~ It ain't over till it's over. I guess the trick is to let it begin to start over or begin to let it be over. I'm tired of all this trail dust. <BR>
<BR>
"I know why you want to hate me. Because hate is all you've seen lately." It's not Mission Impossible 2. It's just Mission Difficult. I didn't think difficult would be any problem. But what do I know. I'm not Tom Cruise. Maybe I should study Capoeira.<BR>
<BR>
Look into the mirror. You're beautiful. Trust me. Say is that your purse?<BR>
<BR>
I'm really trusting MSN's horoscopes lately. They scare me with thier accuracy.<BR>
my horoscope:<BR>
Gemini<BR>
This is a time of metamorphosis for you, Gemini. An existing relationship changes, or a new one begins. Try to recognize everyone for their individual talents rather than as one big group. A personal touch turns you from just another face in the crowd into someone warm and alive. Being who you are is the best self-promotion in the world. Tonight, expect a relative to give you some surprising yet helpful advice<BR>
<BR>
"Will you be my friend at the end?"<BR>
"I'm in love with a Little Ceasars Girl"<BR>
Or is it Pier 1 Imports?<BR>
<BR>
Happy Trails to you all<BR>
Even you<BR>
Especially you<BR>
Dejaya<BR>
<BR>
Michael<BR>
<BR>

<HR>
From: HMS<BR>
Date: 29 May 2000<P>

Michael--<BR>
<BR>
I love "I'm the bad guy" (and when the dust settles, I think you could edit it down a bit tighter--some of it sounds more like an e-mail, breaks the rhythm of the powerful poetry, but WOW it is fantastic!)  Sad how great pain produces great art, right.  Meanwhile I'm pretty happy and writing shit!  (oops, is swearing allowed, Kirk?)  Sorry.<BR>
<BR>
The poem reminds me of the lines in "Moonstruck" when Nicholas Cage is talking about love -- something about how "Love isn't like they tell you it is in books.  Love ROONs your life..."  I should get the whole quote, because it's terrific.  Belongs on the blender, maybe.  I've got the movie, so I'll get back to you.
<HR>
From: Michael (smoking a cigarette)<BR>
Date: 29 May 2000<P>

a chick ~ that's the best mindf#@$ I've ever had. I need another cigarrette. I don't even smoke. I guess it's over. Run back to him darling. He's crazier than I am.<BR>
<BR>
It's catch 22. I can't help you till you've saved yourself. Seems like you can't save yourself because I can't help you.<BR>
<BR>
It you ever need somewhere to stay when you've lost it completely honey, you got my address.<BR>
<BR>
Damn I need a nap. That was tiring. You wanna try that again in a couple hours "A chick"?<BR>
<BR>
Dee ~ I like your art.<BR>
<BR>
Jenna ~ Which song? I posted like 8 of them.<BR>
<BR>
By the way in case noone figured it out.<BR>
I'm Yossarrian too.<BR>
<BR>
A Chick ~ <BR>
And I've never gone by Matt.<BR>
<BR>
Michael. Mike. Koosh. Tranman. Shareware! Peter Gomez. (Isn't that your very first last name?) Marcus Garzen. Pakrat PurseSnatcher. (a kender) Magus Fixit. (TechnoWizard) Rook. Kermit. Charlie Brown. DieForTheFlag. I got more names than a credit card manufacturer. None of them is Matt.<BR>
<BR>
I thought your favorite was George.<BR>
George of the Jungle.<BR>
<BR>
Frank (frankie, Dirty Frank), Honey you don't need a man. You need a straightjacket. I didn't think you were this seriously distrubed. It explains a lot. My whole family has a reverse gravity effect on people. They fall to pieces when we leave them. My father when my mother left. My brother's first girlfriend. You met her. I didn't know it was this bad for you. I'm sorry that my gravity was so strong that it lifted you to the earth and dropped you from so high.<BR>
<BR>
Call me and I'll take you to my asylum. Or I'll let them take you to a nice place and you can meet Angelina Jolie and Winona Ryder- my Girl, Interrupted.<BR>
<BR>
And that was good.<BR>
Real good.<BR>
I wish I could have seen your face when you wrote that.<BR>
I think I would have cried.<BR>
I'm modifying my wishes.<BR>
Don't call me until you're sure you are ready for this. I don't want to break you any further honey. <BR>
I'm breakable but I've been putting myself back together and figuring out what pieces I can live without.<BR>
Its funny how there are all these pieces left over and the damn thing still works.<BR>
<BR>
You had a bit part in my life. You want to be a main character? you should stop being tragic and get real.<BR>
<BR>
You aren't as crazy as you think you are.<BR>
Neither am I.<BR>
You just want to mess with me.<BR>
But it won't work honey.<BR>
I'm the bad guy.<BR>
I eat hysterical damsels in distress for breakfast.<BR>
<BR>
Say.<BR>
I'm hungry.<BR>
Gonna rustle up some bacon.<BR>
Anybody got a light?<BR>
<BR>
Michael
<HR>
From: Michael (No more firewood)<BR>
Date: 29 May 2000<P>

That's pretty much all the poem's I've written in the past 6 months. <BR>
<BR>
I'm purged.<BR>
<BR>
I'll be back sometime.<BR>

<HR>
From: sient voice<BR>
Date: 29 May 2000<P>

Michael has reached the plauteu of annoying!
<HR>
From: Michael (laughing)<BR>
Date: 29 May 2000<P>

Megs ~ You go girl. I wish I could be terse.<BR>
<BR>
Silent voice ~ I don't think I want to know you anymore. I'm not authentic enough to please you.<BR>
<BR>
Sorry about the annoying thing. Some woman's messing with my head. I've got the be held responsible for all my actions including her anonymous ones.<BR>
<BR>
Thank you my muse. I needed to spend three days writing poetry. 
<HR>
From: another one...<BR>
Date: 29 May 2000<P>

here here what the voice said,  god, its nice that you've found somewhere to purge but, learn to say when. <BR>
<BR>

<HR>
From: a different voice in the masses<BR>
Date: 29 May 2000<P>

...leave the man alone...plateaus are lonely places sometimes...this place is all about love and his was one of the purely honest, uninhibited outpourings on that subject I have been privy to...
<HR>
From: silent voice<BR>
Date: 29 May 2000<P>

Outpourings are fine, floods drown!
<HR>
From: the 2nd voice<BR>
Date: 29 May 2000<P>

* The poetry he is outpouring is wonderful. <BR>
* The comments on his own and other peoples poetry is genuine and kind. <BR>
* The 20 comments on the same topic over and over - way too much. <BR>
<BR>
I'm not saying he should go away, I'm saying to know when to say when,  her words wound, given, but there is a point when it goes past sticking up for ones self into obsession, and public obsession is not becoming. Spare us the rants, spare yourself the hurt by letting it go. If you must rant, do it to HER, not the blender masses.<BR>
<BR>
Michael, keep writing poetry, keep commenting on yours and others, but as far as DJ goes, give it (and us) a rest.
<HR>
From: Michael<BR>
Date: 29 May 2000<P>

Sorry guys. I'm just trying to get by. I'll try to shut up about it. I think I missed my window again. Heh. I have a big mouth that won't shut up and I have a lot of venomous love. I didn't post the last one I sent her. It's as close to an apology as I can get right now. I don't know if I'll get one back.
<HR>
From: annoyed too<BR>
Date: 29 May 2000<P>

I agree with the 2nd and the 1st voice. The submission page is the place for the purge, not the COMMENTS board. 
<HR>
From: deevaa<BR>
Date: 29 May 2000<P>

Michael, I must admit I was drowning in that flood too, you whooshed past sweet, past bittersweet, and into obsessive and annoying.<BR>
<BR>
Your poetry is great don't stop writing, and don't stop the comments on the poetry, (thankyou, by the way for the comment on my lava lady.)  you ARE sweet, but please, keep the pain, and outpouring in the new subs area, that way we can choose weather we want to read it.... sure share stuff on the board every now  and again, I'm sure we all do, I've ranted on the board, Megs, Gala, Misti, Nikki, Riggs, Terry ... have too (in my recent memory) we've all shared... and thats what makes the blender so special. But there is a time when sometimes enough it enough, and I hope I've not offended you, but this is one of those times.<BR>
<BR>
dee
<HR>
From: terry<BR>
Date: 29 May 2000<P>

Dee is right Michael, we all have.<BR>
Here is one ear that is available any time<BR>
[email-masked]<BR>
<BR>
t.
<HR>
From: Michael (oops I did it again)<BR>
Date: 29 May 2000<P>

Dee ~ I'll try to keep my comments relevant. I'm going to leave this place soon. This game is not good for me. <BR>
<BR>
Thanks for the support everyone.
<HR>
From: Megs<BR>
Date: 29 May 2000<P>

Dee-  Uh oh...does that mean I need to keep mine under wraps too? *guilty grin*  <BR>
I hope I don't sound obsessive...<BR>
<BR>
But can I ask WHERE all these insane anonymous voices came from all of a sudden?  I haven't seen this happen any other time...but all of a sudden we have a MULTITUDE of nameless commentors.  Usually they just pick on Misti...Hmmmm...<BR>
<BR>

<HR>
From: deevaa ([email-masked])<BR>
Date: 29 May 2000<P>

Megs, Michael, Terry -- my point was we all do it from time to time, and thats why the community at the blender seems so tight knit -- someone asked me last night if anyone who isn't a regular ever submits or comments, and if they do, if anyone pays any notice to them... sometimes maybe we seem TOO close knit.<BR>
<BR>
As long as we respect each other and the board I think there is still room for some personal ranting, esp. when we are in need of an ear.... I personally think Misti was picked on because of this very same reason that Michael is being picked on... for being 'out there' -- and vulnerable. (NOT saying for a second that Misti can't hold her own.)<BR>
<BR>
As for where all the nameless voices come from.... from amongst US, the regulars who don't want to look like the bad guy, but I'll stand by my comments with a name.<BR>
<BR>
dee<BR>
<BR>

<HR>
From: silent voice<BR>
Date: 29 May 2000<P>

Not insane, not picking....just annoyed by the abuse of this forum. Anonymous ,because it matters not who I am, but that I am. I will add that I recognize the talent in his works as well as his momentary instability.
<HR>
From: nikki<BR>
Date: 29 May 2000<P>

Ok...I have no idea what the heck is going on...I go away...everyone's happy...or at least can laugh at their own sadness (except Michael, who I thought was happy with Shannon sways, but maybe not)...and then I copme back and instead of a break down in communication, there is TOO much communication.<BR>
<BR>
Megs...I'm with you...I have no idea who the anonymous people are, and it rather shocked me that someone who has been reading these rather long and confusing posts by Michael would say something without at least making it somewhat more personal...or perhaps they don't read them, and they just see a lot of words flashing by...<BR>
<BR>
and Megs...I love your last two...and my heart goes out to you still....it will get better, though, remember that ~gentle hugs to you~<BR>
<BR>
and Gala...Shut down is very good as well....and everybody sooner or later drops at least one thing when they try to juggle for too long....the laws of gravity and exhaustion and such...<BR>
<BR>
Michael..i'm not sure which cowboy you are referring to that I don't need...but there is only one out there for me, and I have already given him my heart, so I guess I'll stick with him....thanks for your concern, though...<BR>
<BR>
And I have to ask...these poems that seem to be going back in forth in some kind of dialogue with too many players....are they the same two authors?  or is someone just going off of someone else's work?  At any rate...it's confusing the hell out of me....<BR>
<BR>
Dee--I don't know, I think you did a good job on the lava lady...~shrugs~but I'm only one person, and I know what I like...<BR>
<BR>
later all you love, and not-so-love bugs...nikki
<HR>