From: Angel<BR>
Date: 30 June 2000<P>

Megs~you dip into your savings.....
<HR>
From: nikki<BR>
Date: 30 June 2000<P>

You guys, I'm really sorry for my latest post.  Maybe that was a bit much for the Blender.  At any rate, it is already there.  <BR>
<BR>
Evangeline--'Wating' was very nice.  I like the last part the best.<BR>
<BR>
Megs--good submission...I don't remember what it was called, or who it was by, but it made me think of what the hell I am doing here anyway?  (not here at the Blender, but here in my life.)<BR>
<BR>
Anyway...I am not depressed, so don't worry about me.  Please.<BR>
<BR>
love you guys, nikki
<HR>
From: the guppy<BR>
Date: 30 June 2000<P>

nikki...me=amazed<BR>
<BR>
gup
<HR>
From: Coda<BR>
Date: 30 June 2000<P>

Nikki~ "Understanding Words" and "Lines" were beautiful... two things I've had on my mind a lot, but have been unable to put them together in words.  I'm glad to see a poetic version, it's a refreshing new perspective.  Thank you
<HR>
From: terry<BR>
Date: 30 June 2000<P>

Major Wow Nikki....and not just for the writing. You know for what else....VERY powerful. Thank you for sharing that much.<BR>
terry
<HR>
From: Michael (rambling)<BR>
Date: 30 June 2000<P>

KTG ~ Thanks for the comment on "Make it real". It was kind of angry. I was pissed because somewhere an angel thought that our love wasn't real. If there were words to describe me truly, they would include angry. I'm too much of most emotions actually. And well, my angel brings out more emotion out of me than anyone ever has before. I still don't know if it's good or bad. Neither or something in between.<BR>
<BR>
Megs ~ I post so many of these because I know it will be good for someone else besides me. I love to share. I hope it helped you some. As for the Zen thing. What I mean is that love is beyond touch or sex. Touch and sex are expressions of love. But they do not necessarily mean love. So many people, (me included) confuse the fact that someone will touch you "lovingly" or kiss you "passionately" means that they love you. It doesn't necessarily. You have to look for a deeper meaning. These things don't mean the same things to some people. That's why it feels wrong to me to express love to someone that is not my "lover", because the "love", the emotion, is there, even if touch or whatever isn't. But then again, there's the total package. The "love" and all it's physical expressions. That's what the person who I will marry will expect from me and vice versa. To not share all the physical expressions of my love, though I will still share the "love" I have for everyone I "love". I hope I'm making sense. <BR>
It seems like so many women (Maybe Miss Maybe Not Ever) who seem to have no idea that most men think differently will share their physical expressions of love and their love with men who only want the physical expression. And then the women get confused when the man is gladly sharing the physical expressions, but doesn't actually love them. And sometimes women hope to catch a man by giving it up thinking he'll grow attached when he might not at all. He's gotta love you for you, not for your body, or your physical expressions of love. I'm throwing all the freaking women I'm interested in off because I'm asking about them. They think I'm secretly gay or that I really do just want to be friends, or worse yet, that I'm too good a friend to risk blowing it all on getting laid. I'm really trying to figure out if I could love them for them. And by then, they get all this pressure where there was none before and man are they pissed. And so am I. Because I've decided I could live with and potentially marry them, and they've grown comfortable of keeping me as the most loving friend they've ever had and will never lose FOREVER. And I have a couple friends that are in situations just like this. Miscommunication.<BR>
I can only understand this because I'm wired wrong. I stopped living with my father when I was 6. I never had anyone I considered a competent father figure until my second stepfather. I've grown up only seeing how my mother loved people and how she treated sex, and I've grown up that way. I'm strange. Sometimes I wish I could disassociate the physical from the emotional. Most of my guy friends do. I've know women that can do this. <BR>
Anyway I'm angry because sometimes I don't think I want to feel the way I feel but I do. I ask for so much and won't really settle for less. And then I won't get very physical with anyone that I don't care for seriously. And I assume that it is the case with women too, but it isn't always, just mostly. But that's why I don't get really physical with women I don't want to get involved with because I problably will seriously care for any woman I sleep with. And it really sucks because I've recently discovered just how many women are "throwing" themselves at me (more than I can handle really). I am too much of a freaking snob to pick them up, and too much of a nice guy to just use them. The fact that I am lonely is all my own fault. Too arrogant on one hand, and too "nice" on the other. Most guys I know that aren't bad guys have a "girlfriend" that is really a screw doll. They treat their screw doll well, don't get me wrong. They tell them the truth, that they don't love their screw doll. They support their screw doll. But the screw doll just keeps holding on waiting for him to change his mind.<BR>
<BR>
Evangeline ~ Heh. Steal my style or words lady, like you stole my heart so long ago. Even if it's not really stealing because you know I share everything I have to share. Jab at me and take your rightful place here, displaying your talent by writing for him. And make me understand once again why it sucks to not talk to you everyday like I want to so bad and like I don't want to so bad. I must be careful what I wish for. I love you anyway.<BR>
"Too much, too little, too late" - Jellyfish<BR>
<BR>
Angel ~ Once I get my digital camera compact flash reader, I'll post pictures of me and the ShowMe crowd to the Blender. <BR>
<BR>
to anyone interested in my love life or temporary lack thereof ~ Jaime with the boyfriend who told me she doesn't really have a boyfriend really does have a boyfriend. I'll get to meet him Saturday. Her and Carla (boyfriend too) like to hang with me because I'm non threatening. I went to Brilliant's birthday bash. She gets cooler but stranger every time I hang with her. We (10 of us) all had a great time dancing, singing, and drinking. I could steal Brilliant from her boyfriend who she is visiting in D.C. this weekend. Small world. She gave me a seriously good hug. Sigh. And miss maybe not ever, seems more and more like never. She's willing to be some other man's second best. But not call me. I make like three times the money he does, write poetry for women, love unconditionally, don't have a wife and kids, and actually thought she could fit into my life as a long term thing based on some talents she has displayed and her real affection for some people she loves. But I didn't force myself into her bedroom or pressure her a lot for sex. Women (and most people in general) confuse me. I guess I'm not threatening enough. And what is it with me finding all these women with boyfriends. They seem to be more stable that those without though. Three leads, and two to dead ends. (sigh) I swear in three years I'll be that dude in the singles bar taking advantage of desperate women because I'm tired of waiting for "perfection".<BR>
<BR>
All ~ I'm going to read them all and comment on my favorites. No really I will!<BR>
<BR>
Michael (with the temper)
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From: deevaa<BR>
Date: 30 June 2000<P>

Michael... you are doing it again.. gentle hint.<BR>
<BR>
dee<BR>

<HR>
From: KtG [email-masked]<BR>
Date: 30 June 2000<P>

Nikki (A Nightmare Of My Own)- I'm crying. I got three paragaphs in and I had to stop and clear my eyes of the tears. It was horrible, if you can use the word horrible in a good way. Very powerful in it's sentiment, quite painfully beautiful. Thanks for sharing. <BR>
<BR>
Kt - still crying
<HR>
From: Chris W. at [email-masked]<BR>
Date: 30 June 2000<P>

nikki,<BR>
i have to jump in with everyone else here and say WOW.  that last submission of yours was phenomenal.  incredibly emotional.<BR>

<HR>
From: terry<BR>
Date: 30 June 2000<P>

Tara~ 'What Do You See' very powerful and moving...<BR>
<BR>
Michael~ 'Propolyatic' was very good ...<BR>
<BR>
Chris W.~ 'Hello' painted beautiful images even if for something heartbreaking.<BR>
<BR>
t.
<HR>
From: Tara<BR>
Date: 30 June 2000<P>

Nikki:<BR>
<BR>
I loved a nightmare of my own....<BR>
<BR>
i am with KTG - I am still crying... how beautiful and sad...<BR>
<BR>
Tara
<HR>
From: Tara<BR>
Date: 30 June 2000<P>

Terry:<BR>
<BR>
Thank you for your comment - I always enjoy and respect your work, and the fact that you commented on mine, means a lot.<BR>
<BR>
thanks again, <BR>
<BR>
Tara
<HR>
From: Michael (dee - fused)<BR>
Date: 30 June 2000<P>

Dee ~ I'm being too much in the boards again. Sorry. Thanks for the Dee - fusing me. I hope I don't have to be defused too much more often.<BR>
<BR>
Terry ~ thanks for the comment. I'm going to read your stuff tonight or tomorrow morning. I'm going to read everyone's stuff.
<HR>
From: Chris W. at [email-masked]<BR>
Date: 30 June 2000<P>

tara...<BR>
what do you see? was very very good.  i had been looking to read some of your writing, and i'm glad i happenned upon that piece, because it was neither trite nor sugar-coated.  just down and to the point.  <BR>
<BR>
and terry, thanks for the comment.  hello wasn't so much poetry, but i got into one of those frames of mind this morning, looking at old pictures, missing the girl the poem is about...<BR>
i guess it was a mini-catharsis.<BR>
but thanks for reading it.<BR>

<HR>
From: Chris W. at [email-masked]<BR>
Date: 30 June 2000<P>

terry...<BR>
i decided to go back and read some of your pieces as a lot of what you wrote this much was up before i found this site (and because i was only reading new submissions, i missed about a third of this month).  so i went back and read three or four things...<BR>
they are awesome.  each one i read was so well done and really powerful.  so i guess this is my retroactive compliment to you.<BR>

<HR>
From: sarah.jilk@kohls. com<BR>
Date: 30 June 2000<P>

alrighty<BR>
<BR>
i don't comment often......but.......<BR>
<BR>
michael: dear heart.  <BR>
<BR>
i say this calmly and politely of course.<BR>
<BR>
i don't believe that this life is necesarily about love or whether we are alone or not.  Its how we deal with the things that are thrown at us, and how we incorporate them into our life.  Don't expect love, and don't expect perfection. Don't expect anything, except what you should expect from yourself. <BR>
<BR>
Love is an extra added benefit, but not something that will necesarily happen, and sometimes when it comes into your life it can be taken away by circumstance just as quickly.  And then we learn how to deal with pain.<BR>
<BR>
And life is just series of different times when we are alone, and when we are not.  <BR>
<BR>
I am alone, in the true sense of the word.  I don't have many friends and currently have decided not to be with anyone, but this is all of my own choice and my own making.  If we do not know how to be with ourselves, and truly be sincere to our own needs and desires that create the person we are over time, then what is our interaction with others worth. Because you spend your time on yourself, and you go on with it.<BR>
<BR>
I just think you are looking for something that isn't necesrily the right thing to be looking at.<BR>
<BR>
love is grand, but i don't think its love your rambling about.<BR>
<BR>
please don't reply to this, i don't want to have to read another huge submission on the message board.<BR>
<BR>

<HR>
Date: 30 June 2000<P>

Check out the use of "I", "Me" or "My" in your poems<BR>
Does the pattern of "I"s mean that you're egotistical, even self-absorbed?<BR>
Does the use of "You" and "Your" send you into a manic rage?<BR>
Sounds like its time for a reality check
<HR>
From: the guppy<BR>
Date: 30 June 2000<P>

guppy likes not referring to himself in the third person...guppy's giggling<BR>
<BR>
guppy thinks life and love should be more about picnicking and less about nit-picking<BR>
<BR>
...that's what the rumor is anyway...<BR>
<BR>
gup
<HR>
From: kevin urenda<BR>
Date: 30 June 2000<P>

I can refer to guppy in the third person... &lt;G&gt;<BR>
He is correct...<BR>
<BR>
k
<HR>
From: Galadrial60<BR>
Date: 30 June 2000<P>

<BR>
Some of my tighter Blender friends know that lately I've been working on a new style----She who loved was a mild taste...but the FGM has a lot of stuff she just isn't comfy posting here...more eros than cupid, so to speak.<BR>
<BR>
A dear friend who's been reading the new stuff gave me a challenge---write an erotic piece---about a couple that has been together for 40 years...<BR>
<BR>
My first thought was yuck...but I warmed to the idea...I treasure life long lovers---and before I knew it, there it was...more a love poem for sure...but sensual, I think...<BR>
<BR>
And if anyone wishes to take me to task about a scenario involving old people, where the flesh isn't Penthouse Pretty, or stud muffin firm, you are cordially invite to jump in a lake...<BR>
<BR>
We should all be so lucky...to spend a lifetime with someone who makes us feel like a goddess or god long after we've collected a pension.....<BR>
<BR>
                                      So says Gala
<HR>
From: Gala<BR>
Date: 30 June 2000<P>

<BR>
<BR>
Sheesh...a woman used the word erotic and everybody goes bonkers....<BR>
<BR>
But Terry? Nice job....Desert Night<BR>
<BR>
Kirk? Are you going to kill us all for wandering off topic?
<HR>
Date: 30 June 2000<P>

to unknown<BR>
well isnt someone a little selfish?<BR>
dont bother being mad because people have found happiness and love. you have nothing to do with it, so why bother complaining about it. and if theyre egos have gone up a little because someone has said something nice to them, or have recieved a compliment, thats absolutely great for them dont you think, or wait, i forgot the world is so much better whens everyone is depressed. right?<BR>
dont bother trying to bring these people down, i think theyre all a little stronger than you.
<HR>
From: Chris W.<BR>
Date: 30 June 2000<P>

gala,<BR>
seduction by heart was absolutely beautiful.  i've not read a poem that so directly expressed a particular situation and a particular scene so perfectly.  sexy and beautiful!
<HR>
From: chris w.<BR>
Date: 30 June 2000<P>

terry,<BR>
your imagery in your last poem was so vivid and direct.  incredible!!!!!  i am now sufficiently inspired to work on stuff for next month!
<HR>
From: terry<BR>
Date: 30 June 2000<P>

Gala~ 'Seduction By Heart' was absolutely divine. The style you are trying certainly highlights your talent VERY well. Bravo!!!<BR>
t.
<HR>
From: lydia<BR>
Date: 30 June 2000<P>

micheal... "reading is fundamental".. loved it, i like things that you can completely picture eveything thats going on as if you are standing in the room. you are very talented and i say that preteneding i didnt already know, but its not the first time ive read somehting written by you and not been amazed<BR>
<BR>
laurel... bandiads was cute<BR>
<BR>
tara..."what do you see"...wow<BR>

<HR>
From: terry<BR>
Date: 30 June 2000<P>

Chris W., Tara, Gala, Nikki, and anyone else I am not mentioning by name, thank you for your comments. I admire the work of so many here, I agree with others. It is hard to keep up the reading, but I am hooked :)<BR>
<BR>
terry
<HR>
From: Mitchel (flushing his thoughts like a toilet)<BR>
Date: 30 June 2000<P>

brother mike. you speak my language.  i dont get these broads of the new millinium.  whats with em?  im a great guy just like you.  im handsome and funny and perfect but i just get mixed signals.  like my brothers wife and i make 5 times the money he makes.  and i went to a tennis match and made eye contact with that anna kornahola chic so i know she wants me but she is playing hard toget.  preach the gospel brother.  lets forget love and become users because women today want to be used.  research found out that abused women have something in common.  the bitches just wont listen.  your poems rock.  all the others suck but you are the king my man.  we are so great why cant anyone else see it?  we are just alike brother.<BR>
<BR>
mitchel (feeling like i found my lost twin)
<HR>
From: nikki<BR>
Date: 30 June 2000<P>

OMG, you guys!  thank you so much.  everyone who commented on 'A Nightmare..'.  and I'm sorry if I made anyone cry, that was not my intent.  I merely wanted to offer an expression of how I see the days before 'That Day'.  <BR>
<BR>
If you didn't read 'That Day', you might understand mine a little better if you do.  (just a suggestion, although I guess mine can stand on it's own, as it's not totally connected.)<BR>
<BR>
and now I am off to read new subs....<BR>
<BR>
by the way...mitchell....you say that everyone else's work here sucks, besides Micheal's...I generally don't mind negative criticism, if there is something to back it up, such as a reason as to why it sucks.....just a thought...<BR>
<BR>
later lovebugs....nikki
<HR>
From: Luv Doctor (dont ask why i'm back)<BR>
Date: 30 June 2000<P>

Mitchel---<BR>
Word up! 
<HR>
From: nikki<BR>
Date: 30 June 2000<P>

Well, of course, all of you never cease to amaze me...don't you ever stop writing, just to breathe???<BR>
<BR>
Laurel--I love 'Band'Aids' (well that looks kind of funny typed out, doesn't it?)  Anyway, even with so tender a subject, you seem to be able to smile.<BR>
<BR>
Tara--'Waht do You See' was very powerful.  Especially the last line...but first turn off the light<BR>
<BR>
Angel--Laying winter to rest...wow<BR>
<BR>
Terry--Circadian Blue..I'm not really sure about the color....so I can't really see it....but I can feel it......love it, big bro<BR>
<BR>
What has gala started? Terry--Desert Night...mmm..I like it...steamy!<BR>
<BR>
And Gala......you already know what I think of your new style, and Seduction by Heart....:)<BR>
<BR>
Anyone I didn't mention, it wasn't meant as a slight. The talent here overwhlems me, and there just isn't enough time to say everything I want to.<BR>
<BR>
Later every one of you lovebugs....nikki
<HR>
From: terry<BR>
Date: 30 June 2000<P>

Nikki~ 'Alone?' struck a chord in my heart. It describes the landscape very well.<BR>
keep 'em coming luv.<BR>
t.
<HR>
From: terry<BR>
Date: 30 June 2000<P>

Angel~ 'Laying Winter to Rest' - like you Dickinson is a favorite and wow do you do classic well!<BR>
t.
<HR>
From: Angel<BR>
Date: 30 June 2000<P>

Ahhhhhhhhh GALA, "Sedution By Heart", seduced mine...so beautifully written, so romantically said...KUDOS for this wonderful piece.<BR>
<BR>
i am behind again...reading backward...lol
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