Megs I don't think we know each other but all my best thoughts and well wishes are yours if you need k?
kirk nice to see you up and about lol i must say i like this site as is, but i also realize at 600 posts a month what it must be like for you ..
so while i don't have a clue how to make it easier on you i will happily support any choices you make
Gala ah thy most humble servant lol thanks his elven queen from the pit of his poor bruised heart
and as for critiques .....cool im flexible lol
Hey Kirk,
Those were great times...it was hard sometimes to come under such rough scrutiny---but it did teach you fast!
The Avant group was merciless...and god pity you if you fell into sing song, or generalities...they made the crowd Jack met seem like missionaries by comparison! And this was face to face...
Gala
ah my lady Gala but one must remember the crowed i met after i posted ten simple words gave 55 very wordy replies then booted me out.... lol ....i did not flee... lol ..they fled me lol
and heh lol i kinda like the way i write lol
megs---best wishes for you and your bf...
i completely agree with the constructive criticism ideas flying around here lately...
on the topic of spell check...i personally tend to be old fashioned when it comes to such things...i usually use a dictionary...i recently heard a recorded interview with the late steve allen in which he was giving brief advice about educating yourself...one of the things he mentioned is the use of a dictionary...sometimes i like using it just because i like to play with alternate meanings of words when i write...a thesaurus is also a pretty valuable writing tool...i tend to invent words from time to time, and spell checkers get kinda annoying for me that way
steve allen was a brilliant person, by the way...penned and composed thousands of songs...and had a strong belief in personal growth through education...one of the other points he made in the interview was that it is good to hang out with people that are brighter than you are...learn from others...a really cool thing to hear from someone so highly regarded
gup
Critique smuhtique. If you cannot accept criticism of your works, in all life's works, you will have much trouble along the personal path of growth. We must accept criticism from our parents, our teachers, our employers and our friends. Take the criticism for what its worth and examine the source and motive. Use criticism to improve, and do not allow yourself to cower, retreat, or become defensive because somebody points out a mistake or offers a suggestion. The very first poetry group I ever attended ripped my works to shreds but at the end of the night, one quiet little old man (ken kesey i was to find out later), told me I was a natural and to stick with it, however unconventional I was. *just pondering*
-devin
Megs, my prayers are with you and those you love .In answer to your questions about Blenderites in florida: I am in the furthermost SW corner of the state of Georgia...I can almost run to Florida or Alababma and at one point can cross three state lines in a few short minutes.
No, Dee, I havn't heard anything as yet about HeartSong. But you better believe I will SHOUT it here to all when the blessed event comes.
I like Steve Allen, but he had a bit of an over inflated opinion of his accomplishments, especially musically. And he was a bit of a prude, and I think he had some pro-censorship views. I read his "Dumbth" book in high school, I found it kind of difficult to reread because his attitude seemed harder to take.
Terry~Thank you for your comment on "I Want him In Satin". I am curious about the lol at the end of your comment, though. Not that it offended me at all (it really didn't Terry I highly value your opinion), but that I have often wondered if my sense of humor sometimes runs off into poems that I really meant to be serious? I would like more comments on this poem and on that very subject. This may be an area I need to work on. I do love to write funny poetry, but I have a much deeper and more serious side as well. How does an author switch from these extremes without changing pen names and achieve the effect that he/she intended to when writing the poem? Maybe I cannot control the humerous side in me and it just seaps into my poems? OK, GANG LET ME HAVE IT! :) Critique this poem!
a few (yeah, RIGHT...) words on criticism...
My perception of said problem is with the attitude, or perhaps the misapplication of what is generally understood to be criticism. Being critical of something does not mean you are demeaning its creator. Criticism is not, therefore, a personal attack. Poetry is an art, much like painting. Not everyone loves the impressionists. Surrealism is an acquired taste for most. Some find the classics "boring." And it is thus with poetry.
As a widely-acknowledged lover of words (and believe me, I have taken my fair share of whacks simply for being able to turn a phrase or two) I embrace the fact that my road to improvement has been marked by signs placed there by other people who write. My advice to any writer is to not become so attached to your own talents that you can't see the road to improving them. Differing opinions are absolutely golden when they lead you to see things in a different light.
The beauty of participating in a genuine community is not necessarily to feel good, but to improve as a writer. (Although heartfelt responses to ANYONE's writing should be shared because such expressions empower both writer *and* reader. That alone is probably what has always made the Blender a special place - that sense of empowerment). It therefore behooves everyone, if public comment makes you uncomfortable (which is perfectly understandable), to post at least a web-based e-mail address so that people can post those signs for you... Some of the best advice I've personally been given has been quite critical, but given in the spirit of helpfulness. I would hope that all of us who take writing seriously as art AND craft would offer criticism in that same spirit.
In that vein (writing being craft as well as art), everyone who takes their writing seriously should pay close attention to things such as diction and syntax, and of course spelling. Poorly applied language can tarnish what is otherwise quite lovely. Not to mention spoiling the enjoyment of gentle and attentive readers...
k
Angel~ I did read 'I Want Him In Satin' as a seriously erotic work. The lol at the end was my silly side spilling over. I was gifted with satin sheets once, and the results were pretty hilarious. No one told me satin was so slippery. As to the poem, I liked your use of the line 'I want him in satin'. By repeating it throughout it added a cohesion but also a sense of building desire, which pays off on your ending two lines. This work did have a very playful feel to it, but again it was serious lustful play.
terry
Angel reminded me of an important point to remember as a writer who puts his work out there for criticism. Poetry is a bit different than prose in an important way. I see prose as pure storytelling with language the craft to convey the story. Poetry is much much more. It evokes from the reader an emotional response and a sense of 'being in the moment' when done effectively. Just as Angel's poem reminded me of my own experience with satin, you must remember as a writer that every reader brings a completely different psyche and way of looking at the world, to the material. Another reader may have done the very roleplaying Angel conveys, and will flashback to that experience. But what she is conveying very well is a set of universal emotions that most readers will pick up on; lust, desire, being totally in love with your partner. And in that sense, her work is effective regardless of the humor I brought to her work, or the pure lust another reader may bring. I guess in a sense we bring as much to poetry as poetry gives us as the reader. And in the end if we leave having felt a universal emotion, or experienced a moment of movement, the poet has accomplished their task.
terry (who has rambled enough)
Sarah ~ you are full of surprises. 'virginia rain' - how very real.
2 Gala~
That must have been hard when they talked like that about your poem that you wrote about your father
You must be very strong to dry your tears and start again
Well thank you for your story it shows again that You never have to give up and always stay trying I guess..
And I think it's gr8 that your a teacher of poetry...wow!
anywayz gotta go
bye bye
thx again
Me
2 Sarah ~ "Virginia Rain"
It has something that I realy like
Just like Squeen said it's very real
I realy like it!!
Nice done
Hey Nikki?
Not strong---more like stubborn...but it's all good...and teaching poetry is a logical progression. We all write because we have to...it's like an itch, an addiction, or a compulsion. You just feel better when you do!
And as far as my dad was concerned, if you had known him, you'd know that hanging in was the best tribute I could have offered him...
Gala
can we all be like ~niki and comment on how wonderful our own poetry is? I for one really liked the last two things dee posted, but since she is in the dog house I know not to mention her.
Is the blender Digest for January going to be out soon? Or am I just a idiot and it is already out and I can't find it?
I want Mobius Analcakes to come back to Cleveland Live.
SusieQ~ I enjoyed all you posts, but 'Later' was special...
"Eroded by gentle time to fit
Silences full of knowing"
I loved that particular line. It not only conveys your theme well, but it has a poetic resonance that stuck in my mind. I look forward to more of your posts.
deevaa~ 'what i need' struck a chord. I have been in that exact spot many times and those question are the hardest to answer. 'shhh...' was a sensual feast, and 'I want him to come in summertime' was vivid especially the line:
"where pohutukawa trees scream scarlet as they burst into bloom"
The image conveyed there is wonderful. Your trip has inspired some good writing!
me aka niki~ 'Splendor' worked for me on several levels. First it conveyed the honest, heartfelt emotions involved in lovemaking at a very young age. It has a sincerity that is endearing. Sure it lacks nuance and sophistication and is overstated in the erotic imagery, but that does not detract from the overall feeling i left with. Those skills are one you will learn and grow into with your writing. Just keep writing and learning and posting.
Gala~ 'The Heart I Would Hold' was so tender and heartfelt.
"a heart that beats a soft tattoo" is a beautiful image to open this piece with...Bravo! And I have no words to convey the power and pain you conveyed with 'Bitch'...it still resonates in my soul. There was much to learn from this work. Thank you.
Sarah~ 'Virginia Rain'...I am getting addicted to your writing. It grows richer all the time. I only wish for more...much more...lol. Pretty please :)
Michael~ I agree with others about the attraction to 'Drone' it was a very apt metaphor in many ways...and I loved the conversation turned poetry of 'They never forget'. It worked very well...kudos.
Riggs~ I continue to be impressed by the 'let it all hang from my psyche' quality of your writing. I particularly enjoyed 'Thailand Nightscape'. These images really stuck with me:
"in sickly sweet darkened rooms
amusing and confusing
high as high on dark lust fumes.
There's a star away above
that you see on lucid nights
when you sit and tell yourself
that everything will be alright"
I just love the thought of lucid nights. Your writing also grows richer all the time.
guppy~ 'you beautiful machine' made my day...you do ironic humor so well...lol.
BK~ Keep 'em coming darlin'. I enjoy every one...just like jack's creations under all his aliases.
RodneyR.~ 'You're More To Me (Dear Valentine)...I was caught from the beginning by the opening:
"When the world
Won't lend an ear to hear you
I'll be standing there
To listen to your mind "
That line sort of says it all doesn't it?
terry
2 Deevaa~ "tail Spin mode" really liked that one...
Coward: Dee is not in the dog house in any way here. But you are for being too cowardly to sign your comment.
bk
I'll try to throw up some honest critique...which is probably worthless, but he....Please know I'm not out to hurt any feelings...
Sarah ~ "Virginia Rain" is excellent. It reminds me of time I spent on the beach with a very special woman.
Terry ~ "Dylan Day". I'm having one of those myself. I like the words, but I lose the rhythm somehow. A lot of the stuff I've posted to the board before this week was rhythm impaired. For example, I get a little jealous when I read most of guppy's works because he's got good rhythm. Maybe you could add a Dylanish rhythm somehow? That would rule.
Deeva ~ I like concept "Tail Spin". I think that there are too many metaphors at once though, that don't fit together tightly? "tail spin mode", "sunk", "door slam"? Maybe I'm overanalyzing...
I like "I want him to come in the summer time" also. I've felt that feeling where you're somewhere beautiful and you want to share it with someone special very badly.
Scqueen ~ "swapping spit". I like the breathless quality. It's like you're still panting from the effort of the kissing.
Jenna ~ "Saving Face". I get the feel of that tension in your latest one.