Date: Sat, 31 Aug 1996 12:49:27
From: TWOSHOT@gnn.com (CHARLES CRIPPS)

Friendship Lost

Founded on a fancied thought,
Something that was never sought,
Tried it on, for style and fit.
Then I found I treasured it.
Never thought it was for naught,
Strangers met, friendship wrought.

Honored was I, to her friend be
Her happiness was life to me.

She reached my heart, with a friendship plea
Touching some childhood memory.
I pledged that I would give,
What she asked and make it live.
So To her I gave a friendship grown.
It might have been different, had I known.

She made me high.  She made me sigh.
Her little lies, they made me cry.
Her voice was music, her smile, sunshine.
I sensed something special beneath the rind.
The glimpses I caught every now and then,
Spoke of wonders within my friend.

Honored was I, to her friend be
Her happiness was life to me.

She had a nice, but troubled soul
So different from her fantasy role.
She did not like the work she did
So deep inside, she went and hid.
She drank to hold herself in place.
She could not bare to show her grace.

I brought her always a simple gift,
Hoping only, her heart, to lift.
Laying these offerings before her feet,
My heart would still its measured beat.
If she smiled, my soul would sing.
It made me happy to give the thing.

Honored was I, to her friend be
Her happiness was life to me.

With the passing of time, my fondness grew.
Where it would stop, I never knew.
Then I was struck by Cupid's dart,
And into her hands, I placed my heart.
To cradle or crush, just as she pleased,
Trusting her only to do it with ease.


I told her of my anguished doubt,
Begging her often to give me an out.
Tell me you love me, or tell me you might,
Tell me you hate me, get out of your sight.
I needed to know just where we stood.
I needed to know - I needed her word.

Honored was I, to her friend be
Her happiness was life to me.

She said she had secrets hidden away,
If unveiled, my heart they would sway.
I told her, I cared not about her past,
Worried far more about the future we cast.
But a difference exists between secrets and lies.
And for that difference our friendship dies.

She should never have said, 'I love you'.
Breaking the bonds of friendship's glue.
She did not pause, nor think, nor care
Of the pain I would have to bare. 
She knew my thoughts about those three words,
They sent my soul flying up with the birds.

Honored was I, to her friend be
Her happiness was life to me.

I spoke of a beauty behind her eyes.
I should have seen, beyond her lies.
She let me fly.  She let me soar.
She let me crash.  My heart all gore.
She had no kind of alibi
She tried so hard to keep the lie.

Her happiness was life to me.
She left no word - a thoughtless act.
She left me with my doubts intact.
I could not eat.  I could not sleep.
I needed answers, but could only weep.
I was in agony for days on end,
And still I chose to call her friend.

Honored was I, to her friend be
Her happiness was life to me.

Then I found she was a lie
She'd lacked the heart to say Good-bye.
Cold gripped me like a graveyard's frost
Something warm and priceless - lost.
Floods of tears came out my eye
So hard to feel that friendship die.

Friendship fell like autumn leaves
Beneath winter's snow, it felt the freeze.
When one word of truth, spoken so clear,
Would lessen my pain, would keep her dear,
Silence greeted my anguished pleas.
I still wipe tears upon my sleeves.

Honored was I, to her friend be
Her happiness was life to me.

Though she lives, and I love her still,
I mourn the death of my friendship real.
It mattered more to me than love.
It mattered more than heaven above.
Try as I might, with all of my will,
I find it impossible to wish her ill.

How much did she falsify?
Just enough to make friendship die?
Was there truth among the lies?
Was there was beauty behind her eyes?
I'll never know or try to spy.
I won't believe I love a lie.

Honored was I, to her friend be
Her happiness was life to me.

Founded on a fancied thought,
A friendship that was never sought,
Tried it on, for style and fit.
Oh. God! How I treasured it.
Now I know it was for naught, 
Strangers part, friendship rot.
                    -----------Charles C.
Dedicated to Hope and Friendship, and Jaymi Lynn Patterson