By Andy R.
Date: 20 April 1997

Melissa

	I was walking into a bar with some of my friends. We were looking for a 

table. Some band was playing, and I stopped in the middle of the floor to have

a look at them, but as it happens,I never did see them. My eyes met someone on the 

way up to the stage. She was sitting at a small table, with her friends, smiling

and talking above the din of the bar. I had never seen a more beautiful girl in

my life. 



	She had curly blonde hair that flowed over her body like a soft wave of

a summer breeze. As silly as that sounds, I couldn't help but perceive it that

way. Her eyes were so perfectly blue, wide enough to see the whole of my 

insecurity and strength. I must have looked totally silly with my mouth hanging

slightly open just staring at her, but she didn't seem to mind, as we exchanged 

stares. In the moment that I saw she was looking at me, I felt like I had met for

the first time someone with whom I'd been in love with all my life.  



	I have two kinds of reactions when I see an attractive girl for the first

time. I either immediately think about her naked body, which is nice but also

acts as a signal for the absence of any real passion. Or my heart melts into a

disgusting puddle and I fall in love. The latter has happined to me only twice

before. 



	Make that three times.



	I walked over to her, as the wideness of our goofy grins increased

inversely with our distance from eachother. I sat down without even asking if I 

could. Her friends, my friends and just generally the concept of existance as a

whole faded off into nothing. 



	"Hi" I said, still looking right into her eyes.

	"Hi" She replied.



	At that point I could have said "So what do you wanna talk about?", and 

it would have been completely natural. My thoughts were so clear. I could read her

mind as if it was shampoo instructions. I understood so clearly that it was 

absurd to even think about it. We talked for hours about anything at all. About

our childhood which we had already somehow shared. About our present positions

and direction in life, which we both knew were now subject to change.



	Her name was Melissa, and I was completely in love with her. I felt like

we had the calm strength of blood ties with all the passion and power that made

me want to open the car door, and myself, for her. 



	I went to algebra class the next morning with cobwebs in my eyes. I hadn't

really focused on anything that whole morning. I just wanted to hold on to all the 

feelings I had. 



	I felt completely out of touch with my place in time. No one knew what 

had happined. No one else knew Melissa. Only me. How could they? Only I dream

my dreams. 



	Since I dreamnt her, two years or more, I have been looking for her. Not

actively, mind you. I just go to bars more often than I did. I look across the 

floor more deliberately, maybe without a real reason. I hope to meet her eyes 

again like I once did. 



	Someday, my thoughts will be clear like that again. My purpose unquestionalble.

I'll find her. But with every dark hall I go to, the chances get slimmer, my life

gets shorter and my dream of her loses one day of intensity. I see beautiful 

girls every time, but I always go home thinking of Melissa and where I might find

her.