By  Jane Pek <eponine@rgs.edu.sg>
Date:  14 Nov 1996 

Three Works

Date: Thu, 14 Nov 1996 02:35:10 -0800
From:
To: kisrael@cs.tufts.edu
Subject: Submission for Hearts-On-Sleeve corner

Dear people at The Love Blender,

        I'd like to submit three poems for consideration of publicaton on
your website.  Thank you.  They are titled 'Letting Go', 'For You' and 'I
Can't Remember'.

        I'd like to submit a descriptive poem that I've written, titled
'Sunset', for publication on your website (if good enough, of course).
Thank you.

        Here's a short bio (if needed):

        Hi everybody!  I'm a fourteen year old student currently studying at
Raffles Girls' School (RGS) in Singapore.  I really love writing, and have
been writing for longer than I can remember - I write poems, short stories,
plays, novels (well, one that has never seen the light of day), journalistic
articles (for my school paper) and so on.  Other things I enjoy besides
writing are: comics, Les Miserables (and musicals in general), sports like
badminton, judo and cycling, and being with friends.

***

written in Sept 1996
Letting Go

I guess sometimes it's just too hard for me to let go,
To take a step back and understand why all this is so.
You talk about not staying - well, who am I
To stop you?  All I can do is say goodbye.
And when you say you want to leave,
Can't I even ask for a reprieve?
An explanation, something to tell me,
Why this has all gone so wrong - to let me see,
The darkness beyond the rainbow ...
And most of all, so I can understand, and let you go.

***

written in Sept 1996
For You 

It was always you, you know that?
Everything was you.
No matter how you deny it,
Try to change it,
Say that you're sorry.
You were, and still are, all to me.

I lived for you,
I breathed for you,
I laughed for you,
I died for you.
Was there anything I wouldn't have done,
For you?

When you spoke I was there to listen,
When you cried I wiped your tears away.
When you smiled I shared in your joy,
When you hurt I tried to understand.
So much done for you,
Except you never realized.

For
I smiled alone,
I wept alone,
I fought alone, 
I lost alone.
Were you ever there for me?

Yet if I ever had to choose,
Between the memories of my life,
This would never be erased - 
I would never let it go,
Because it is all I have left,
Of you, and for you.

***

written in Sept 1996
I Can't Remember

I can't remember,
The way your smile sparkled with fun,
How your hair would shine in the sun.
The shade of your eyes in early spring,
Your voice, and the songs that you would sing.

I can't remember,
The warmth of your hand on mine,
How you said everything would work out fine.
When you were always there for me,
Except that I was too blind to see.

I can't remember,
How many times I said I loved you,
The fights we had, far between and few.
The romantic dinners and hold-me-close dances,
The way we treated life as a whole string of chances.

But I still remember,
The stormy words we exchanged that night,
Before you left, walking out of sight.
How I watched you go with tears in my heart,
Wanting to call you back, but knowing we had to part.

Those things I can't so easily forget,
Not the long talks we had till two in the morning,
Not all the late nights and the early risings.
Trying so hard to figure this whole mess out,
Trying to understand what love was all about.

This is what will never go away,
All the laughter and sadness we had,
Through the good times and the bad.
I guess I can't go back now, can I?
It's all past, no matter how hard I try.

So now though I sit alone,
And tell myself that I can't remember,
How we thought we had it all together,
I just can't stop thinking of you.
Remembering?  Yes, I guess I do.