By J.S.
Date: 7 April 1999

Muse (for Jase)

i can't seem to get you out of my head
i don't mean for you to be there
you're there
you're a part of me, and you're all
i can write
i wrote stories for you, about you
my characters are you
and i am you
i still am you
and somehow i know you are me
though you are someone else
and not who you were
my poetry is for you
a way for me to express
my confusion
my passion
my distractions and misfortunes
but i never let you see the bad ones
because i keep forgiving you
and i keep loving you
though i'm not sure what i am to you
another star just fell from my ceiling
it wakes me up at night, like the dream
i had of you
i'm not sure if it classifies as a nightmare - 
but my english teacher complains
in her sweet, casual way
that you pervade my writing
and it's true.
(see above)
i won't say i'm sorry for it
i will say i wish i could do more
but i think i love you
and i think i'm stuck with that for the rest of my life
joni mitchell has this song that i fell in love with
it's as if she lived this thirty years ago:
"I remember that time you told me, you said,
'Love is touching souls'
Surely you touched mine
'Cause part of you pours out of me
In these lines from time to time"
i'm overflowing with you
i wish i could cap it off
it probably wouldn't work anyhow
i have a case of you
and if i drank a case of you
i would still be on my feet -
you're in me forever, jase.