By terry
Date: 25 July 2000

Casting My Heart at Night

I know I should not say this
At least not out loud
Where persons will hear it
          Whose hearts are closed
          Along with their minds.

But I will anyway
It doesn’t matter much
If you think me odd
          Or even well past the blue
          Into the black
          (Just ask them to make the white coat extra-large please, 
          I don’t like cramped places much)

You see, late at night
In the hours when spirits fly
And restless souls seek the solace of dreamscapes
          Where they can sail the world unfettered
          Freed from promise and conflicted passion
          They can let the dark waters flow them to destiny’s end;

It is then that I cast my heart to the night
Searching for that single beat I know as my own
That we may join in unison in a place of freedom
          Where lovers carry the deed written in dark crimson
          On rice paper much folded and worn
          Passed soul to soul in the sisterhood of secrets your love revealed.

And without fail, you are there; waiting in the garden
My escort to ecstasy in a heated breathe 
And a whispered ‘I’ve been waiting, love.’
          Bathed in a glow of gold, clothed in spun silk; light as air
          Waiting in the green; grown fertile on spilt tears of lovers before
          Made sacred by tender regard forever carried from this place.

And in this sanctuary I too am unfettered
Allowed to reveal my secret face and secret heart
To you; the one who glimpsed the buried treasure
          And claimed it as your own
          By reaching into a soul darkened by pain, without fear nor hesitation
          And calling it beautiful beyond measure, and yours.

For truly, I am yours
I know that with every fibre of my being, without doubt.
But the truth that blinds me, in ways I struggle to overcome, is this:
          As I am yours, so too are you mine
          By the recognition of love in your heated regard 
          That paints me as a man of good and honor and courage, 
          and oh yes, a man to be desired.

When I cast my heart into the night.
And catch your spirit waiting there.
Again.


7.25.00 TWL