By Gala
Date: 23 July 2000
Letter Of Introduction
Hello dear...
The gentleman standing before you
is a male of the highest quality,
certifiably sweet, warm and kind
who will ply you with verbal gems,
lavish you with iambic riches
and in general,
make you feel like a goddess incarnate.
He can do these things only if
you give him more than a glance,
and I'll bet he will also
make you laugh,
give your heart feet to dance with
and bowl you over with passion
you might not expect...
I promise that he is not a cad,
an ass
or a weasel.
He will not date your sister,
oggle your best friend
or fail to call when promised,
unless major surgery is involved.
He will make you feel wonderful,
given half the chance,
and will not make you cry.
Because if he does,
and I hear of it,
I will turn him into a slimy loathesome toad.
Now then---------
what was your name, dear?
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