By ZoE
Date: 5 July 2000

You Pull away

I don't know if it's because
you don't care about my cunt
or if it's because you care
about your class but your kiss,
I pulled away
I pulled away
from
because your kind of love is scaring me
because I want the kind of love that
holds my hand on the smoldering sidewalk
the kind of love that kisses my neck in the produce isle
the kind of love that doesn't make me check out the boy in the next booth
or admire the love between people that aren't us
you don't understand my poetry
you pull away from me
you keep your promises
refuse to smoke
you'll probably never cry over me
like I pathetically do
and whenever you find a reason to like me
it's always something about you
and you say my bed is small
and you make me order the cheapest thing on the menu
but you call me cute
but noone but your mom has ever loved you
and it scares you that I could
cause you make me feel like shit but I am not scared
to cry and I am convinced that
it all started with the red sweatshirt
and I think this means
I care about you
but I am doing my best not to
and I am making you tell me I am not a slut
I want to ween you off your mommy's breast
cause you cannot play chopsticks
and you cannot decipher this scribble
and you pull away at the worst times
but one thing is certain
you will not lie to me
you will not allow me to believe that I am important
I've hidden so much so much so you couldn't know me
well I rub ashes in my matress
you don't know my big words
your parents do the nazi dance
and you allow me to keep telling my mother
you are grand even though I know
you keep me squirming
nervous
you make you irresistable
and then make me wanna
kick your ass
you begin to adore me silently too
but I feel I cannot be mesmirising to you
and I feel you squirming
when I think
of the way you admired my
bitten off nails
the way you bring me home
after you cum
the way you make my bestfriends
avoid me
the tactless way you are
the way you probably feel
nothing after
hearing the words
the lyrics that have changed my life
the way conflict begins without
a hand written invitation

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