By Jennifer Heady   snowchild@rocketmailcom
Date: 3 July 2000

Inside My Skin

Inside My Skin

I see your face this time
And it scowls,
Stress and unhappiness in
Every line.
You look toward me
Your eyes avoid mine.
I have seen this look before,
And I cry inside.

I cannot make you happy,
Though I work so hard
To be what you want
And need.
I keep failing.
No matter how much I love you
No matter how much I want it,
It doesn't seem to happen.

I strive for perfection or at least some
Close resemblance.
Would that I had perfect body,
A beauty you could admire.
A bright mind and heart.
To have you proud to be with me.
And not leave me alone
In day or at night.
To see you smile at me again
With eyes that glow only for me.
To know that no matter what
Happens
In our lives,
That "I" at least have made you happy.
That is my only desire, my only need-
To see you happy.

I watch your face to
Read its message.
I see the worry.
I see the desire to escape.
I feel a vise closing around us,
Taking our breath,
Stealing our hope,
Taking the tenuous Love
That is ours
And crushing it like cruel hands.

And in helplessly watching inexplicable
Events
Tear at our very beings,
I am dying
Piece
By
Piece,
Inside my skin.

Jennifer Heady
snowchild@rocketmail.com

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